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Most young people will come across pornography at some point, sometimes on purpose, sometimes by accident. In Australia, national survey data shows this exposure is very common, with around 86% of young men and 69% of young women aged 15–20 having seen pornography, and first exposure typically occurring around 13–14 years of age, often before first sexual experiences (Crabbe et al., 2024). Many report their first exposure occurred unintentionally rather than through active searching (Crabbe et al., 2024). In addition, a national Australian survey of children aged 10–17 found that nearly one in three (32%) said they have seen sexually explicit images or videos online (eSafety Commissioner, 2025).
For families, this can feel confronting or confusing, especially when it’s unclear how a young person may be affected. It is common to feel unsure about what to say or how best to respond.
This resource is here to support you. It offers information about pornography, how young people might experience it, and some ways family can help. This resource is not about encouraging or discouraging pornography use, but about supporting safe, informed, and values-based conversations. Families and communities are diverse, and views about pornography can be shaped by culture, faith, lived experience, and personal values. Some parts of this resource may feel more relevant to you than others. You’re encouraged to take what feels helpful for your family and leave what doesn’t.
Family includes anyone who plays a supporting role in a young person’s life. This may include parents, carers, siblings, partners, extended family, kin, Elders, chosen family, mentors, and other trusted adults or community members.
What is pornography?
Pornography (often called “porn”) refers to sexually explicit material created for adult entertainment. It can include videos, images, written content, live streams, or digitally created material. It is often accessed online.
Pornography is not made to educate about bodies, relationships or consent. Like other media, it is created to get attention, generate income and evoke strong reactions. Pornography often shows a narrow, exaggerated version of sex, bodies, and relationships that does not reflect most people’s reality.
Gender stereotypes, racism and discrimination can shape how sex and sexual behaviours are portrayed and understood within pornography. This can influence what young people see as ‘normal’ or expected, and may not reflect their own identities, values, culture, relationships or real-life experiences.
In Australia, pornography is legal for adults and restricted for people under 18. Despite this, many young people under the age of 18 are exposed to sexually explicit material online. They may come across it accidentally, be shown it by a peer, or seek it out. Some young people may actively look to porn for information about sex or relationships, particularly if they feel they are not getting clear or relevant information elsewhere.
Young people are still developing the skills to critically understand and interpret what they see online. This means they may take what they see at face value or find it harder to recognise what is unrealistic or misleading. Family can play an important role in helping young people make sense of what they see, talk through questions, and make choices that feel safe and aligned with their values.
How and why young people might be exposed to pornography?
Young people can come across pornography in many ways. Their social lives, time online, and age or stage of development all shape how and why this happens. Exposure can occur across a range of online and social spaces, including group chats, social media feeds, pop-ups, gaming platforms, direct messages, or through peers showing them content. Some content may also be animated or stylised in ways that make it feel more engaging or accessible to younger audiences.
Online platforms are designed to show more of what grabs attention, which can sometimes lead young people to content they didn’t intend to see. For example, some platforms use algorithms to recommend more intense or sexualised content over time, and AI-generated material can make it harder to tell what is real, consensual, or safe.
Contributing factors can include:
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easy online access and accidental exposure
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curiosity about bodies, relationships, or growing up
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peer sharing or peer pressure
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boredom, stress, or loneliness
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limited access to accurate, age-appropriate sex education
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limited access to sex education that reflects their gender, sexuality, or experiences
Understanding these factors can help family see that exposure is often shaped by broader online environments, not just individual choices, and highlights the value of support, guidance, and open conversations.
How young people might experience pornography
Young people can respond to pornography in many different ways. There is no single or “right” reaction. How a young person responds may also depend on the context of exposure, for example, whether it was intentional, accidental, pressured, unwanted, or something they come across more than once.
It’s also common for young people to feel a mix of emotions and responses at the same time, or for their feelings to change over time as they continue to make sense of what they’ve seen.
This might include feeling:
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curious and entertained
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indifferent or not impacted
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reassured about their own values and boundaries
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validated seeing bodies or expressions of sexuality similar to their own
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confident in choosing not to engage with similar content again
and might also include:
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feeling shocked, confused, uncomfortable, or upset
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feelings of shame and guilt
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having questions they feel embarrassed to ask
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avoiding talking about it
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feeling pressure to understand or copy what they’ve seen
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taking on unrealistic ideas about bodies, relationships, or expectations
Many young people can make sense of what they see, especially when they have supportive people around them. Staying calm, keeping communication open, and asking gentle, curious questions can help young people process their experience and feel supported.
How family might feel when a young person accesses pornography
Family can have mixed feelings about a young person, and these responses often change as a young person gets older. Australian research shows many parents delay talking about pornography until mid to late adolescence, with discussions far less common for younger adolescents. For younger people (age 12 and below), family often rely on filters or age controls to reduce accidental exposure. As young people get older (age 13 – 17), both parents and young people tend to see open, age-appropriate conversations as more useful than technical controls, particularly as filters are easy to bypass (Lim et al., 2024; Turvey et al., 2024). These responses are shaped by culture, faith, values, and past experiences, and can create opportunities for clearer boundaries and shared understanding.
How family respond matters. Responses that feel shaming, blaming, or punitive can affect a young person’s sense of self, including how they feel about their body, sexuality, or identity. Shame can make it harder for young people to ask questions, talk openly, or seek support when they need it.
Holding clear values and boundaries, while showing openness to conversation, care and respect, helps young people feel safe and understood. Making it clear that a young person’s curiosity does not make them “bad” or “wrong” supports trust and ongoing communication.
How family can help
The conversations you have with young people don’t have to be perfect. What matters most is that the young person feels safe, respected, and supported.
Checking in with them, being ready to listen and following the young person’s lead can make a big difference. It’s also important to consider who the young person feels comfortable talking to about this topic. Making sure conversations feel safe, private and respectful can help protect their dignity and trust.
Some ways family can help:
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Stay calm and open. A calm, non-judgmental approach helps young people feel safer to open up.
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Choose the moment. Pick a time and place that’s private. Some young people find it easier to talk while driving, walking, or doing something together.
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Getting the conversation started. If you’re unsure how to begin, keeping it simple and age-appropriate can help.
With younger children:
“Sometimes people see things online that can feel confusing or uncomfortable. If that ever happens, you can always talk to me. You will not be in trouble.”
With older young people:
“I know there’s a lot online about sex and relationships. If you’ve come across anything like that, I’m here to listen. I’m interested in how you felt about it and any questions you might have.”
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Follow their pace. Let them decide how much they want to share. Conversations can unfold gradually over time.
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Listen first (focus on feelings, over details).Young people don’t need to describe exactly what they’ve seen unless they want to.
“You can share as much or as little as you like. I’m interested in how you’re feeling, whether anything worried or confused you, and if you have questions.”
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Keep it simple. A few thoughtful questions can be more helpful than trying to cover everything at once.
“Was there anything that surprised or stayed with you that you want to chat about?”
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Share values with care. It’s okay to name your beliefs while staying respectful. It is also important not to assume your young person's actions reflect their values or understanding. Having an open conversation can help to explore their values and beliefs, keeping in mind they may not be sure of these
“In our family, we might have certain values or beliefs about pornography, sex or relationships, but you are not in trouble.”
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Talk about consent, respect, and safety. Focus on what healthy sexual relationships include, such as consent, boundary setting, checking in, being able to change your mind, mutual respect and pleasure, emotional safety, and using protection.
“What do you think respect, safety, and consent look like in real relationships?”
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Encourage reflection. Help them notice how media can differ from real life.
“How do you think what you saw compares to real-life relationships or respect?”
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Take a pause if needed. If you feel unsure or are finding the conversation especially challenging, taking a pause can help you respond in a calm and supportive way.
“I’m going to take a little time to think about this so I can respond in the best way.”
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Avoid punitive or shaming responses Try to stay curious and collaborative rather than leading with discipline.
“I want to establish boundaries around this to keep you safe that we both agree are fair.”
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Build a support network: Encourage connection with trusted adults, therapists, counsellors or cultural supports if that feels accessible to them.
When and how to seek extra support
Sometimes a young person may need more support, especially if pornography is causing distress, confusion, or is affecting their daily life.
Extra support may help if you notice:
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ongoing distress or withdrawal
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changes in mood, sleep, or behaviour
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exposure to illegal or harmful content
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feeling pressured, coerced, or forced to watch, share, or create sexual content
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pornography being used to cope with difficult feelings
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pornography impacting the way they view and relate to others
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pornography is getting in the way of them doing other things
Support might include talking with a counsellor, GP, school wellbeing staff, or a youth service such as headspace. Talking with the young person and service provider about how you support them in a way that respects their privacy, consent, and safety can help ensure support feels appropriate and collaborative.
Seeking support does not have to mean something is wrong. Reaching out early can make a positive difference, and support should feel collaborative, respectful, and culturally safe.
Looking after yourself
While you might be focused on supporting the young person, looking after yourself matters too. Conversations about pornography can bring up strong feelings, including worry, discomfort, or uncertainty. Taking care of your own wellbeing and seeking out your own support can help you stay calm, present, and supportive.
You may feel comfortable and ready to work through this with your young person directly. At the same time, it’s okay to seek your own support if needed, you don’t have to navigate this alone.
This might include:
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talking with someone you trust, without sharing unnecessary details about the young person
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seeking guidance from a professional support
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connecting with cultural, community, and/or faith supports
If you do reach out for additional support, it’s important to continue respecting the young person’s privacy and dignity, particularly as this topic can feel personal and sensitive.
You don’t need to get this “right” to be helpful. Pornography is one part of a complex digital world that young people are growing up in. While it can raise concerns, supportive relationships, open and respectful conversations, and access to help can make a real difference.
Where to get professional support:
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headspace centres – free support for young people aged 12–25
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eheadspace – free, confidential phone and online counselling for young people and family
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eSafety Commissioner – information and reporting for online safety and image‑based abuse
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1800RESPECT – sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling (all ages)
Want to learn more?
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eSafety Commissioner: Pornography and online safety for parents
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The Line: Talking with young people about pornography
https://www.theline.org.au/pornography/pornography-how-to-have-the-conversation/
Other resources that might be helpful:
The headspace Content Reference Group oversee and approve resources made available on this website.
Last reviewed 12 May 2026
Australian Institute of Family Studies. (2017). The effects of pornography on children and young people: An evidence scan.
Bravehearts. (2025). The impact of pornography on children and young people.
Bryant, C. (2009/2024). Adolescence, pornography and harm. Australian Institute of Criminology.
Crabbe, M., Flood, M., & Adams, K. (2024). Pornography exposure among young Australians. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health.
eSafety Commissioner. (2024–2025). Pornography, online safety and deepfake abuse.
eSafety Commissioner. (2025). One-in-three Aussie kids see sexually explicit material including porn online. https://www.esafety.gov.au/newsroom/media-releases/one-in-three-aussie-kids-see-sexually-explicit-material-including-porn-online
Lim, M. S. C., Johnson, E. R., & Raggatt, M. H. (2024). Parents’ attitudes and response to their child’s pornography consumption in Australia: cross-sectional survey. Sexual Health, 21(6), Article SH24096. (Key findings summarized in [Lim et al., 2024])
Our Watch. (2020; 2024). Pornography, young people, and preventing violence against women.
Schuster, I., et al. (2025). Violent pornography use and adolescent attitudes.
Turvey, J., McKay, D., Kaur, S. T., Castree, N., Chang, S., & Lim, M. S. C. (2024). Exploring the Feasibility and Acceptability of Technological Interventions to Prevent Adolescents’ Exposure to Online Pornography: Qualitative Research. JMIR Pediatrics and Parenting, 7(Nov 2024), e58684. (Key insights summarized in [Turvey et al., 2024])
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