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Most people come across pornography at some point, sometimes intentionally, sometimes by accident. This resource offers general information to support understanding and wellbeing. People’s views and feelings about porn vary and are often shaped by family, culture, and spiritual or personal values. You’re encouraged to reflect on your own values and beliefs and decide how - or if - you want to engage with this information. It’s okay to take what feels useful and leave what doesn’t.
What is porn?
Porn (short for pornography) is sexually explicit content created to be sexually arousing. It can include videos, images, audio, live streams, memes, or social media content.
People might choose to watch porn for different reasons, including;
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to be turned on and for masturbation
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curiosity about bodies, sex and sexuality
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entertainment
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because others are watching it
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some people use porn when they’re feeling certain emotions, such as bored, lonely, or stressed
Porn is made for adult entertainment, not education. Like all media, it’s created to capture attention and create a response. Some pornographic material is made to be consent focused, sex and body positive, but mainstream porn tends to show a narrower range of bodies, identities, and relationships, that don’t typically reflect real life.
Understanding what porn is, and what it isn’t, can help you make informed choices.
What is good sex (in real life)?
Before we unpack porn, it can help to understand what sex often looks like in real life. Good sex isn’t about performing, it’s about everyone feeling safe, respected, and able to enjoy themselves.
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Consent, communication & choice. Everyone involved is freely agreeing to what’s happening, checking in with each other, and knowing they can slow down, change their mind, or stop at any time. Consent is an ongoing conversation.
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Trust. Boundaries are honoured and everyone feels respected before, during, and after.
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Mutual. Everyone’s needs, comfort, and pleasure matter.
Good sex can also include emotional connection, curiosity and playfulness. Sex doesn’t have to look a certain way to be “good”. For some people, connection is important, for others, it might be more about physical experience.
What matters is that it feels safe, respectful, and right for those involved.
Porn is a performance
Like other forms of media, most mainstream adult content is made to entertain and make money. People from all kinds of cultural backgrounds, identities, and experiences watch it but it’s important to know that porn often shows only a narrow version of what people are ‘supposed’ to look like or be attracted to. These ideas are often shaped by Western and heterosexual norms, and don’t reflect the diversity of all people’s preferences, cultures, or relationships.
Because of this, what you see might not feel relatable or true to your own experiences or values. It might also leave out important parts of real-life connection, like communication, respect, emotions, and consent.
Learning to think critically about what you’re watching can help you tell the difference between entertainment and real-life relationships.
Is porn realistic?
What porn often leaves out (or gets wrong)…
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Consent and communication. Porn rarely shows people checking in, talking about boundaries, or changing their minds. Whilst a process of obtaining consent and negotiating boundaries between performers might occurs offscreen, it is rarely role modelled on screen. In porn, performers typically act as though they are ready for sex immediately and sometimes, pretend they are forced to have sex without consent as part of a role-play scene. In real life, consent should be an unhurried, ongoing process and anyone can change their mind at any time.
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Pleasure and comfort. Porn performers are acting. The angles they are filmed in are for screen and often not reflective of what might actually feel pleasurable. In real life, people have different preferences, comfort levels, physical limits, and boundaries. Pleasure is not one-size-fits-all and it’s important to be led by what feels good for everyone involved.
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Bodies and appearance. Porn often shows a limited range of body shapes, sizes, and abilities. Some sexual acts cannot be replicated by all bodies and may cause harm without appropriate training and preparation. Real bodies are diverse and don’t need to look or move a certain way.
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Safety. Porn often skips safer sex practices on screen, such as using condoms, body safe lubricants, hygiene between different sexual activities, or use of objects that could be harmful to the body. In real life, safer sex practices can enable more stress free, pleasurable sexual experiences and prevent sexually transmissible infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy.
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Power and stereotypes. Some porn reinforces stereotypes about gender, sexuality, race, bodies, and power. For example, it may present unrealistic ideas about masculinity or femininity, or portray certain racial groups or gender identities in sexualised or degrading ways. Porn doesn’t just shape sexual expectations but, like all media, can also reinforce sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, and discrimination.
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Aggression. Some porn shows rough or aggressive behaviour without context. Professional porn scenes that depict power play or rough sex require off-screen negotiation and performers are often trained in techniques that minimise injury or harm. In real life, any kind of sexual activity must involve clear, continuous consent, respect, and safety. This is especially important when exploring sexual dynamics that involve role playing power differences or consensual acts that cause discomfort, strong sensations or pain.
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Illegal or unlawful. If sexual content involves anyone under 18, it is child abuse material, not porn. It is illegal to create, share, or view, and causes real harm. You can report child abuse material. Likewise, extreme violence or non-consensual acts, or where sexual images or videos are shared online without the consent of the person or people shown are considered illegal or unlawful content, not ‘pornography’. This includes image-based abuse and sextortion.
People respond to porn in different ways
There’s no “right” way to feel about porn.
People might feel curious, uncomfortable, turned on, confused, entertained, upset, validated, or a mix of different emotions at once. Your feelings can also change over time, depending on your experiences, relationships, values, and identity.
Culture, family, and faith often shape how people think about porn. In some communities, expression of sex and sexuality might be discouraged. This can make navigating curiosity and exploration of sexual desires and preferences more complex.
Noticing what feels okay for you- and what doesn’t- is part of understanding your boundaries.
Is watching porn bad for you?
There isn’t a simple yes or no answer.
Some people may not feel impacted by experiences of watching porn. For others, it can affect how they feel, their relationships, or what they expect sex and connection to be like. It can also feel uncomfortable if it doesn’t align with your personal, cultural, or spiritual values and beliefs.
It can help to step back and consider the bigger picture. In many cultures and communities, sex isn’t just about the individual, it’s connected to relationships, respect, and community values. You might reflect on how porn shapes your expectations, sense of self, or your relationships.
What matters is how it affects you, your wellbeing, your values, and your relationships.
Making your own choices about porn
It can feel like everyone watches porn, or that there is pressure to be interested in it.
You have the right to make your own choices about porn. Some people choose to watch porn. Others decide it isn’t for them.
If you do watch porn
Being intentional can help you stay in control reduce negative impacts.
You might ask yourself…
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How does it make you feel during and after?
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How does the content differ from your own sexual preference and practices?
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How does it align with your values?
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Does the content feel respectful and safe?
You can choose to avoid content that feels uncomfortable or unrealistic in ways that don’t sit right. Whilst mainstream porn can be limited or harmful media, there is porn made to affirms diverse sexualities, genders, cultures, and bodies and promote safe and respectful expressions of sex.
If you watch porn with others it’s important to make sure everyone’s boundaries and preferences are respected.
If you don’t watch porn
That’s completely okay.
People explore sexuality and pleasure in many different ways, including through imagination, masturbation, learning about their body, and/or connecting with others.
No one has the right to pressure you into watching porn.
Making informed choices about if, or what, you engage with is part of looking after yourself.
Porn, the law, and age verification
In Australia, porn is legal for adults but it is restricted for people under 18. This means porn website and platforms are expected to take steps to prevent under 18’s from accessing content.
Many young people under 18 still come across porn and because of this, there is increasing focus on how access is managed online.
Websites are now asked to verify age before someone can view content. This might involve sharing personal information, which can raise privacy concerns, including;
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Entering a date of birth
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Signing in through an account
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Using ID or third party verification tools
For more information on age verification and online safety, visit eSafety commissioner.
Porn and technology
Technology is changing the way porn is created and shared.
Some platforms now use AI chatbots that can seem like real people. These bots may encourage you to share personal information, or push you toward more content. It might feel like you are talking to a real person, but it isn’t. Platforms might also use deepfake pornography, where someone’s image is used without their consent to create sexual content.
This can be extremely harmful to the person involved. If this happens to you, it’s not your fault and support is available. Let a trusted adult know. In Australia, you can contact the eSafety Commissioner to report any online material and exploitation including; illegal and harmful content and image-based abuse. Report abuse | ACCCE
Building digital safety skills- like protecting your privacy, thinking critically, spotting scams, and reporting harmful content- can help you stay safer online.
If porn starts to affect your life
Porn is created to be highly stimulating, which can make it hard to switch off.
Sometimes people notice porn is taking up more space than they want. Porn is designed to elicit intense pleasure hits and like other forms of addictive content, it is not your fault if it starts to feel hard to control.
How do I know if porn is a problem for me?
If you’re asking this question, it’s already a good sign you’re paying attention to your habits and that’s a positive first step.
If porn is becoming a problem, it can look like:
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feeling unable to stop watching porn
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relying on porn to cope with difficult feelings
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losing interest in other parts of life
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feeling uncomfortable about how much and why you use porn
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porn interfering with mood, sleep, relationships, study, work, or hobbies
Research suggests that for some people, watching porn can be linked to:
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unrealistic expectations about sex, bodies, and relationships
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changes in what feels arousing over time (sometimes leading to seeking more intense or extreme content)
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pressure to look or act a certain way
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confusion about consent and communication
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exposure to content that reinforces harmful stereotypes (about gender, bodies, race, and sexuality)
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exposure to content that normalises acts of violence including aggression and coercion
Not everyone will experience these effects. Thinking critically about what you’ve seen can reduce these impacts and help you make informed choices.
If you feel like porn is impacting you negatively, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, it just means something might need to shift. Talking to someone you trust can help. You might also consider chatting to a trusted adult if you are worried about porn you have seen or are feeling pressured to watch it.
You can also:
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Speak to a counsellor or service such as headspace
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Use online or phone support services, such as eheadspace
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Set small boundaries around your use- like screen time limits, content blockers, or device-free spaces
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Spend time on other activities that feel meaningful and enjoyable
Support can help you feel more in control and make choices that feel right for you.
Final thought
Porn is something many people come across whether they are seeking it out or not. It can shape ideas about sex, bodies, and relationships, sometimes in unrealistic ways. Taking the time to understand what it is, and what it isn’t, can help you make informed choices.
Whether you choose to engage in porn or not, what matters is that your decisions feel right for you, align with your values, and support your wellbeing.
headspace: find your nearest centre or contact eheadspace, our phone and online service (12-25 years)
1800RESPECT: sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service https://www.1800respect.org.au/ (all ages)
Your local doctor/ General Practitioner (GP) Or you can search for a health service and GP at HeadtoHealth.
Other helpful resources
Bare bodies: Reality checking mainstream porn Bare Bodies: Reality Checking Mainstream Porn | Scarleteen
More on porn https://itstimewetalked.com/young-people/
Feeling pressured to watch porn? https://www.intheknow.co.nz/feeling-pressure/
Understanding consent Understanding sexual consent | headspace
Understanding sex ad sexual health Understanding sex and sexual health | headspace
Sex, dating and relationships https://www.theline.org.au/relationships/
We’d like to recognise the expertise of the people who’ve contributed to this resource. With thanks to: Usha, Angus, and Faris.
This content was developed in association with It’s Time We Talked.
The headspace Content Reference Group oversee and approve resources made available on this website.
Last reviewed 1 June 2026
AIFS (2017). The Effects of Pornography on Children and Young people. An Evidence Scan https://aifs.gov.au/sites/default/files/publication-documents/rr_the_effects_of_pornography_on_children_and_young_people_1.pdf -
Bravehearts (2025) Bravehearts Briefing Paper: The Impact of Pornography on Children and Young People, Bravehearts Foundation Ltd https://bravehearts.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/The-Impact-of-Pornography_Briefing-Paper-062025.pdf
Bryant C 2009. Adolescence, pornography and harm. Trends & issues in crime and criminal justice no. 368. Canberra: Australian Institute of Criminology. https://www.aic.gov.au/publications/tandi/tandi368
Crabbe, M., Flood, M., & Adams, K. (2024) Pornography exposure and access among young Australians: a cross-sectional study, Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health,
Volume 48, Issue 3, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.anzjph.2024.100135.
eSafety Commissioner. (2025). One-in-three Aussie kids see sexually explicit material including porn online One-in-three Aussie kids see sexually explicit material including porn online | eSafety Commissioner
eSafety Commissioner (2024). Addressing deepfake image-based abuse, Addressing deepfake image-based abuse | eSafety Commissioner
Evans-Paulson R, Dodson CV, Scull TM. Critical media attitudes as a buffer against the harmful effects of pornography on beliefs about sexual and dating violence. Sex Educ. 2024;24(6):799-815. doi: 10.1080/14681811.2023.2241133. Epub 2023 Aug 7. PMID: 39703665; PMCID: PMC11654991 Critical media attitudes as a buffer against the harmful effects of pornography on beliefs about sexual and dating violence - PMC
Plumptre, E (2025) Understanding Porn Addiction and How to Get Help, Very Well Mind, Understanding Porn Addiction and How to Get Help
It’s time we talked (2022) What’s the issue? - It's time we talked, accessed 2006
Our Watch. (2024). Impact of pornography on young people survey report summary, Impact of pornography on young people survey report summary
Our Watch. (2020). Pornography, young people, and preventing violence against women, Background Paper: Pornography, young people, and preventing violence against women
Quadara, A., El-Murr, A. & Latham, J. (2017). The effects of pornography on children and young people: An evidence scan. (Research Report). Melbourne: Australian Institute of Family Studies.
Schuster, I., Tomaszewska, P., Krahé, B,. & Hein, S. (2025) Violent Pornography Use and Acceptance of Sexual Coercion in Adolescents: The Mediating Role of Risky Sexual Scripts and Low Sexual Self‑Esteem, Sexuality Research and Social Policy https://doi.org/10.1007/s13178-025-01209-1
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