Self harm affects approximately one in ten young people. For some it happens once but for others it can happen many times or become a repeated behaviour. Self harm is often used as a way to try and cope with distressing thoughts or feelings. With support, you can learn alternative ways of dealing with these thoughts and feelings.

If a person is self-harming, it doesn’t always mean they’re thinking about suicide. But sometimes there may be a connection between self harm and suicidal thoughts. Self harm may also involve risk-taking behaviour that could lead to accidental death or serious injury.

At very difficult times some people withdraw from others and isolate themselves.  While it can feel like a natural way to cope, this can be a trap and can make things worse. This is something to pay attention to. Are you spending less time with others? It can be difficult but it is important to talk to someone you trust (like a family member, friend, teacher or Elder) about how you’re feeling, and your thoughts of suicide.

Talking can release the pressure, giving you time for the strong feelings and thoughts to pass. Sharing your feelings can also remind you that you’re not alone, and might even open up new perspectives on things and new ways to cope.

It’s not easy to ask for support, but it’s a crucial step in dealing with suicidal thoughts. If you can, let your doctor or a mental health professional know what you’re going through as soon as possible.

There are also other support services available for you to use, such as:

• headspace 
  
  
• Kids Helpline
  
  
• ReachOut.
  
  

You can choose to contact these organisations over the phone, or even opt to chat online during certain times of the day.

For a comprehensive listing of mental health services, visit Head to Health.

When things get tough, it can be difficult to think clearly about being safe. By creating a safety plan, also known as a wellbeing plan, you won’t need to think – you’ll know how to take care of yourself.

A safety plan is a list that includes things you can do if you notice suicidal thoughts returning, things that you enjoy doing or that calm you down and ways to help you change your thought patterns.

Your safety plan could include:

• warning signs to be aware of
  
  
• the names of people who love you
  
  
• emergency phone numbers
  
  
• distractions or self-care activities, such as listening to music or going for a walk
  
  
• places you can go to be safe.
  
  

Some useful resources to help you create a safety plan are:

• Beyond Blue’s safety plan guide and Beyond Now app
  
  
• Menzie’s Stay Strong Plan, specifically for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander young people.
  
  

It can be helpful to keep using a wellbeing or safety plan, even when things are going a little better. It might help to identify early warning signs, so that you can put things in place earlier, to reduce the likelihood that you’ll experience suicidal thinking in the future.

Self-care is all about finding healthy activities that make you feel better and less stressed. By being kind to yourself and looking after your mind and body, you’ll be able to relax and reduce unhelpful thoughts. Self-care is something you can do every day, whether it’s meditating for a few minutes or choosing to eat well and be active.

There are many things you can do to look after yourself, and what works for you might not work for someone else. It might be helpful to try a few things to see what’s useful for you. You might even like to include them in your safety plan. Self-care activities include:

• breathing exercises
  
  
• mindfulness activities
  
  
• hanging out with a furry friend or spending time with someone you love
  
  
• a physical activity or getting outdoors, like going for a walk or playing your favourite sport
  
  
• listen to music
  
  
• writing in your diary
  
  
• watching a movie or playing a game
  
  
• an activity that takes your focus and distracts you, such as online gaming.
  
  

For more ideas about self-care activities, see our tips for a healthy headspace.

Be aware that using alcohol and other drugs may help you feel good in the short term, but they can leave you feeling much worse in the longer term. Alcohol or other drug use can also make you more likely to act on thoughts of suicide.

Though it can be extremely challenging, reaching out to others to tell them what you’re going through is an important part of keeping safe. Sharing your experience can help you to feel less isolated – and it may even be the beginning of a valuable support network.

Try talking to someone you trust, like a caregiver, Elder, friend or teacher about how you’re feeling and your thoughts of suicide. Or if you’re not ready to talk to someone you know, you could call a helpline or use their online chat service.

If you decide to talk to someone you know, it can be useful to make a plan for this conversation so you feel comfortable. Think about where you’d like it to take place, and what the best time might be so you aren’t interrupted. Here are some conversation starters, if you’re not sure where to begin:

• ‘things have been full on for me lately and I’m wondering if we can talk about it?’
  
  
• ‘things have felt a bit out of control for me and I need to talk about it.’
  
  
• ‘I’m really upset and some of the things I’ve been thinking are starting to worry me. Can we talk?’
  
  

If it feels too difficult to start the conversation in person, you could try to write or text someone about how you’re feeling. Sometimes people may not know what to say at first, but they will appreciate that you reached out – keep talking, and keep seeking support.

You may need to tell more than one person to feel heard. Sometimes people don’t know how to react when someone tells them they are having thoughts about suicide. This might be because of their own fears about making the situation worse. Keep talking and keep asking for help. Building up a supportive network of people around you can help enormously.