Chat to a clinician
Find a centre
Emergency assistance
Donate now
Adolescence is a time of change and growth. It’s when young people explore new friendships, see existing relationships shift, and start building a strong sense of who they are. With so much happening, it’s normal for them to feel uncertain or even lonely.
Loneliness can show up in a young person's life in lots of different ways - it can look like feeling disconnected, misunderstood, or like they don’t quite fit in. It can be hard to watch someone you care about struggle, especially if you’re unsure how to help. With curiosity, patience, and connection, family can help a young person feel seen, supported, and connected.
Family means anyone who plays a supportive role—this could be family of origin, biological, cultural, community, or chosen.
What is loneliness?
You might have heard the saying that you “can feel lonely even in a crowded room”. That’s because loneliness isn’t about how many people we’re surrounded by – it’s about how connected we feel to them. Loneliness is a common and human experience. Most people feel lonely at different points in their lives, especially during times of change or transition.
For people who’ve moved away from family and loved ones, loneliness can feel like missing home or being homesick. For others, loneliness might also show up as feeling disconnected from familiar traditions—like not hearing their language spoken, missing cultural celebrations, or struggling to find a sense of belonging in a new community.
Feeling lonely doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It can help to think of loneliness as a signal – an uncomfortable feeling that tells us our need for connection isn’t being met. And importantly, loneliness isn’t permanent—it can change. With time, support, and connection, those feelings can shift.
Download our fact sheet on understanding loneliness
(PDF 554kb)
Loneliness and young people
Many people don’t realise that loneliness is very common in young people. Research from headspace and other organisations shows that between half and two-thirds of young people report feeling lonely or left out at some point. These feelings often come up during times of change, like:
• Changes in circumstances – such as leaving school or starting a new job or starting at university/TAFE (especially when classes are online)
• Changes in habits – such as increased time online
• Changes in relationships – such as relationship breakdown or not seeing friends daily at school
• Experiencing bullying, abuse, and violence - in person or online
• Feeling ‘different’- related to differences in culture, faith, identity, interests, ability, or neurotype that may differ to those others around them
• Family separation, conflict, or stress at home
• Limited opportunities to socialise or connect (i.e. rural, remote, transport issues, financial issues)
Loneliness can also be influenced by experiences like migration, displacement, racism, language barriers or feeling isolated from cultural, faith or community networks. Sometimes, young people can feel pressure to adapt to a new culture while trying to hold on to their own identity, which can make feeling connected even harder.
Young people can experience loneliness in ways that feel especially challenging. Sometimes it comes with feelings of rejection or low self-esteem, especially if they believe they have fewer friends than their peers. Social media posts about other people’s social lives and friendships can amplify feelings of being left out.
What you might see
When we experience loneliness, it can start to shape the way we see ourselves and the world around us- like wearing a pair of glasses that make disconnection stand out more than connection. This can lead to changes in a young person’s thoughts and behaviour. People who feel lonely are more likely to be critical of themselves and expect rejection from others. You might notice a young person:
• Avoiding social situations or isolating themselves
• Increasing their use of social media or online gaming
• Talking negatively about themselves – things like ‘they wouldn’t want me there anyway’ or ‘they won’t notice if I don’t go‘
• Feeling dissatisfied with their relationships – young people experiencing loneliness might be more likely to believe that others don’t put as much effort into understanding or listening to them
• Showing signs of anxiety or depression, like worrying more than usual or losing interest in hobbies
• Feeling excluded or misunderstood – for example, if they feel unwelcome because of their background, culture, faith, or identity
There are ways you can offer support and guidance to a young person experiencing feelings of loneliness. Here are some suggestions that might help:
It’s normal for young people to look outside of their family for advice and connection, but research shows that young people also want their family to ask about things that matter to them. Simple questions can be a steppingstone to conversations about loneliness and well-being. Try questions like:
- I’ve noticed you seem a bit quieter lately. How have things been feeling for you?
- Is there anything making friendships or social stuff feel tricky at the moment?
- I know lots of people feel lonely if they're not able to spend time with people as much as they'd like. Is that how it is for you?
- Would it help to talk through what you’re needing more (or less) of from friends or family?
Spending time with people who matter is one of the best ways to ease loneliness. Ask the young person about what’s important to them—friends, study, work, or community activities—and look for ways to share time together. Simple gestures like having a meal, running errands together, or visiting family can show you care. You can also encourage and help problem-solve ways for them to connect outside the family—like joining a social group, taking part in community activities, or meeting up with friends regularly.
In many families and cultures, relationships are seen as part of community life, with everyone playing a role. Reconnecting with cultural traditions, joining faith gatherings, or spending time with relatives, neighbours, and extended family can help create opportunities for connection and strengthen ties within the community.
You can also support the young person to meet new people by exploring groups, sports, volunteering, or community activities that match their interests.
A note on social media...
Social media can have a complicated impact on loneliness. Constant scrolling, comparing, or feeling left out online can deepen disconnection. Negative experiences—like bullying, pressure to look “perfect,” missing invites, or compulsive checking—can make real-life relationships harder to maintain. Over time, this can contribute to loneliness. Research shows it’s not just time online that matters, but the quality of those interactions.
At the same time, social media can be a lifeline. For young people who feel isolated, live remotely, or don't have many people around them who share their culture, identity, or interests, online communities can help build confidence, offer support and connection.
With the advent of the social media delay, some young people under 16 may no longer be able to connect as they used to. It can help to chat to them about how they can keep connected and engaged with friends or communities if they can no longer access their social media accounts. Information for family about the social media ban
If the young person’s social media use seems to be impacting their wellbeing, try to stay curious and talk about what you’ve noticed (jumping straight to talking about spending less time on their phone probably won’t help!). You might try saying something like:
• I thought I saw your light still on when I got up to get a drink last night. How are you sleeping at the moment?
• I noticed you found it hard to put down your phone and come to dinner the other night...is everything ok?
• You’ve mentioned [online friend] a few times! How does it feel getting to know people online?
• When you’re on your phone late, is it helping you relax or making it harder to switch off?
• Do you ever feel pressure to reply or keep up with things online?
You can also suggest spending time together offline or recommend activities that create real-world connection as an alternative to social media. For example, you might ask ‘Would you be open to doing something together later - maybe a walk, cooking, or watching something- just to have a break from screens’
Talk about normal adult friendships and relationships
Seeing friends less often after finishing school can contribute to feelings of loneliness but feeling lonely can also make your young person less likely to reach out to friends. Taking steps to rebuild and maintain connections can help. You might try talking to your young person about:
• normal friendship experiences – how it’s common and OK for them to ebb and flow, and how building new connections takes time.
• how change and growth can be both difficult and an exciting part of life – and how it’s common for young people to feel distant from friends as they grow and change.
• how people generally respond positively to reconnecting even if there hasn’t been contact in a while – if a young person has ‘lost touch’ with a friend they may feel hesitant about reaching out.
Navigating breakdowns in friendships or relationships may also take its toll on your young person’s feelings of connectedness. If it’s the right time, you can support them to:
• develop coping strategies – check out our 7 tips for a healthy headspace
• express their feelings in a healthy way such as journalling, listening to music, or talking with a trusted person
• gently encourage them to reflect on their experience of the breakdown, if appropriate.
Encourage them to take steps
Taking steps towards rebuilding and maintaining connections can be difficult if low mood or social anxiety is keeping a young person feeling stuck. Despite lots of people experiencing loneliness, loneliness can bring on feelings of shame if we feel like 'something is wrong with us' - even when this isn't true. Reminding young people that loneliness is a common feeling and not a personal failing can go a long way in reducing feelings of shame.
Small steps take courage, but they really help. If it seems like they are having a hard time, encourage them to take steps towards easing feelings of loneliness and reach out for help.
Talking things through with a trusted person or professional, such as via eheadspace, can offer new perspectives and help your young person build confidence.
Looking after yourself
Supporting a young person through loneliness can feel challenging, and it’s important to care for your own wellbeing too. When you look after yourself, you’re better able to support them. Here are some ideas:
• Stay connected – Make time for your own friendships, family, and community activities.
• Set healthy boundaries – It’s okay to define what you can and can’t take on. Clear boundaries help prevent burnout and model healthy relationships for the young person.
• Celebrate small wins – Acknowledge the small moments of connection or progress, both for the young person and for yourself.
• Take breaks – It’s okay to step back and recharge when things feel overwhelming.
• Talk it through – Share your feelings with someone you trust or seek professional support if you need it.
• Practice self-care – Simple things like getting enough sleep, eating well, and doing activities you enjoy can make a big difference. Self-care can also include cultural or community practices that bring comfort and belonging—like cooking a traditional meal, attending a faith gathering, or spending time with relatives and community members.
• Be kind to yourself – Supporting a young person isn’t always easy. Remind yourself you’re doing your best.
If you ever feel worried or unsure, reaching out for help is a sign of strength—not weakness. You don’t have to navigate this alone. You can also find professional support through headspace, your GP, community organisations or other mental health services.
If you ever feel worried or unsure, reaching out for help is a sign of strength—not weakness. You don’t have to navigate this alone. You can also find professional support through headspace, your GP, community organisations or other mental health services.
The headspace Clinical Reference Group oversee and approve clinical resources made available on this website.
Last reviewed 10th February 2026.
This content was developed in association with the Parenting Research Centre.
Aloia L. Parent-child relationship satisfaction: the influence of family communication orientations and relational maintenance behaviours. The Family Journal: Counselling and Therapy for Couples and Families [Internet]. 2020 [cited 2022 Oct 17];28(1):83–89. Available from: https://doi.org/10.1177/1066480719896561
Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AU). Australia’s youth: peer relationships and social networks [Internet]. Canberra (AU): Australian Institute of Health and Welfare; 2021 [cited 2022 Oct 17]. Available from: https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/children-youth/peer-relationships
Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AU). Social isolation and loneliness [Internet]. Canberra (AU): Australian Institute of Health and Welfare; 2021 [cited 2022 Oct 17]. Available from: https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/australias-welfare/social-isolation-and-loneliness-covid-pandemic
headspace National Youth Mental Health Foundation (AU). Two-thirds of young people feel lonely [Internet]. Melbourne (AU): headspace National Youth Mental Health Foundation; 2022 [cited 2023 Jan 13]. Available from https://headspace.org.au/our-organisation/media-releases/two-thirds-of-young-people-feel-lonely/
Frameworks Institute (US). Reframing adolescence and adolescent development [Internet]. US: Frameworks Institute; 2020. Available from: https://www.frameworksinstitute.org/toolkit/the-core-story-of-adolescence/
Franklin A. A lonely society? Loneliness and liquid modernity in Australia. Australian Journal of Social Issues [Internet]. 2016 [cited 2022 Oct 27];47(1):11–28. Available from: https://doi.org/10.1002/j.1839-4655.2012.tb00232.x
Lim MH, Eres R, Peck C. The young Australian loneliness survey: understanding loneliness in adolescence and young adulthood [Internet]. Melbourne (AU): Victorian Health Promotion Foundation; 2019 [cited 2022 Oct 17]. 39 p. Available from: https://www.vichealth.vic.gov.au/loneliness-survey
Masi CM, Chen HY, Hawkley LC, Cacioppo JT. A meta-analysis of interventions to reduce loneliness. Pers Soc Psychol Rev [Internet]. 2013 [cited 2022 Oct 17];15(3):1–66. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3865701/ DOI: 10.1177/1088868310377394
Matthews, T., Arseneault, L. Bryan, B.T., Fisher, H. L., Gray, R., Henchy, J., Moffitt, T. E., & Odgers, C. L. (2025). Social media use, online experiences, and loneliness amongst young adults: A cohort study. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences
Reissman A, Hauser J, Stollberg E, Kaunzinger I, Lange KW. The role of loneliness in emerging adults’ everyday use of facebook – an experience sampling approach. Computers in Human Behaviour [Internet]. 2018 [cited 2022 Oct 17];88:47–60. Available from: https://doi.org/10.1016/J.CHB.2018.06.011
Sawyer I, Fardghassemi S, Joffe H. How the home features in young adults’ representations of loneliness: the impact of COVID-19. Br J Soc Psychol [Internet]. 2022 [cited 2022 Oct 17];00;1–25. Available from: https://doi.org/10.1111/BJSO.12540
Sundqvist A, Hemberg J. Adolescents’ and young adults’ experiences of loneliness and their thoughts about its alleviation. International Journal of Adolescence and Youth [Internet]. 2021 [cited 2022 Oct 17];26(1):238–255. Available from: https://doi.org/10.1080/02673843.2021.1908903
Webster D, Dunne L, Hunter R. Association between social networks and subjective well-being in adolescents: a systematic review [Internet]. Youth & Society [Internet]. 2020 [cited 2022 Oct 26]; 53(2):175–210. Available from: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0044118X20919589
Weissbourd R, Batanova M, Lovison V, Torres E. Loneliness in America: how the pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness and what we can do about it [Internet]. Cambridge MA: Making Caring Common Project, Harvard Graduate School of Education; 2021 [cited 2022 Oct 17]. 13 p. Available from: https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/reports/loneliness-in-america
Get professional support
If you feel you need help there are a range of ways we can support you.