understanding disordered eating and eating disorders - for family and friends

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We all have times in our lives when we experience unhealthy eating habits.

Some people may try the latest fad or detox diet to shed a few kilos, others might occasionally feel like they’ve eaten more than they needed to.

Not every person who experiences unhealthy eating behaviours will develop an eating disorder.

Disordered eating describes an unhealthy relationship with food and eating. This can include following a strict diet, skipping meals, or binge eating. A person who experiences disordered eating may also use methods to compensate for perceived overeating or breaking dietary rules, including purging or excessive exercise.

For some people, disordered eating behaviours coupled with extreme concerns about weight, body shape, eating and body image can result in an eating disorder. This can have a significant impact on their physical and mental health.

Eating disorders are complex conditions. While they can often begin with dieting or over-exercising, a number of factors can increase the risk of a young person developing an eating disorder. These include family factors (such as a family history of eating disorders), individual factors (such as low self-esteem or wanting to do things perfectly all the time) and external factors (like the influence of the media and social pressures to look a certain way).

Eating disorders can be serious, damaging and at times even life-threatening, so if you think a young person may have signs of an eating disorder, it’s important to raise your concerns and support them to seek help.


Read our fact sheet about disordered eating and eating disorders

(PDF 281kb)

It can be hard to detect signs of an eating disorder in a young person, as they may try to hide, disguise or deny their behaviour. Some may not even realise that there is anything wrong. Young people with any body type can experience eating disorders. Eating disorders don't always affect body weight.

Recognising the signs of an eating disorder is very important, as the earlier a problem is detected and treated, the better the outcomes for a young person. Here are some things to look out for in a young person who may be developing, or experiencing, an eating disorder:

Physical changes:

  • rapid weight loss or fluctuating weight changes

  • signs of tiredness and poor sleep

  • lethargy and low energy

  • fainting or dizziness

  • feeling cold most of the time, even in warm weather

  • signs of damage due to vomiting (swelling around the cheeks or jaw, calluses on knuckles, damage to teeth and bad breath)

  • loss or disturbance of menstruation in females and decreased libido in men.


Psychological changes:

  • preoccupation with eating, food, body shape and weight

  • signs of anxiety or irritability around meal times (e.g., avoidance of meals or wanting to eat alone)

  • behaviours indicating a sense of lack of control around food (e.g., eating high quantities of food in a short period of time)

  • rigid thoughts around particular foods being ‘bad’ or ‘good’

  • poor or distorted body image (e.g., negative self-talk about body)

  • intense fear of weight gain.


Behavioural changes:

  • dieting behaviour (e.g., fasting, skipping meals, counting calories, avoiding specific food groups such as fats or carbohydrates)

  • eating in private and avoiding places involving food

  • evidence of binge eating (e.g., disappearance and/or hoarding of food)

  • frequent trips to the bathroom during and/or after meals

  • evidence of using diet pills or using other medication to influence weight or appetite
  • changes in clothing styles (baggy clothes that hide weight loss)

  • compulsive or excessive exercise (e.g., exercising in bad weather or at odd hours, exercising despite sickness or injury, and excessive distress when unable to exercise)

  • sudden changes in food preferences

  • excessive body checking behaviours (e.g., repeatedly weighing self, pinching waist, excessive time spent looking in mirrors)

  • extreme sensitivity to feedback about body shape, weight, eating and exercise habits

  • continual denial of hunger

  • obsessive rituals around eating (e.g., cutting food into very small pieces, excessive chewing or playing with food)

  • excessive food preparation and planning (e.g., reading cookbooks, shopping for food, planning, preparing and cooking meals for others but not consuming anything themselves, taking control of the family meals).

Common types of eating disorders

Anorexia nervosa is when a person experiences all of the following: 

  • getting less energy (food) than their body requires to maintain health
  • having an intense fear of gaining weight
  • seeing their body size or shape in a distorted and disturbed way

People experiencing anorexia nervosa also have weight loss and/or are underweight.

There are two types of anorexia nervosa:

  • restrictive (not eating enough and/or exercising a lot more than food intake)
  • binge-purge when a person eats (sometimes to excess) and then through some method removes that food.

Many people may change between these types.


Bulimia nervosa involves a cycle of binge eating (eating a large amount of food quickly, in a way that feels uncontrolled), followed by actions to get rid of the food eaten.

People experiencing bulimia nervosa usually have strong feelings of distress, guilt and shame about these experiences, and are often very critical of their body.

Binge eating disorder involves repeated episodes of binge-eating, often with a sense of loss of control while eating


Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder is used to describe when person may avoid eating certain foods based on the sensory characteristics such as the smell, appearance or texture. This can lead to unintentional weight loss and other issues with nutrition and physical health.


Other specified feeding or eating disorders is used to describe an eating disorder that significantly impacts a person’s life, but does not meet full criteria for one of the other types of eating disorder.


If you would like more information about other eating disorders visit The Butterfly Foundation or the InsideOut Institute.

Related problems

Other mental health difficulties, such as anxiety, depression and substance use, are also common among people who experience eating disorders.

What to do if you notice these signs in a young person

Eating disorders can be complex and serious conditions, so it is encouraged that anyone who is experiencing symptoms of an eating disorder seeks professional support. If you think a young person is showing signs of an eating disorder, it is important that you raise your concerns and support them to access professional help. A GP or mental health professionals at headspace centres and eheadspace (online and phone support) can help.

Alongside professional help, there are some things that you can do to help support your young person: 

  • Talk to them and let them know about your concerns. Encourage them to talk about how they are feeling. Listen openly and ask questions to demonstrate your desire to understand their experiences. Avoid the temptation to try to solve your young person’s problems for them, or provide overly simplistic solutions such as ‘all you have to do is eat’.

  • Promote healthy eating patterns and positive body image by modelling these attitudes and behaviours yourself.

  • Encourage discussions about normal, daily parts of their life. Where possible, avoid being drawn into conversations about food, weight, shape or even just general appearance. Comments about appearance can be misinterpreted (for example, ‘you look well’ may be heard as ‘you look fat’). Provide compliments that focus on personal qualities, rather than looks.

  • Try to be patient. The recovery process through eating disorders can be lengthy and challenging. Changes in behaviour can take some time and it is a normal part of recovery to have set-backs. Try to maintain encouragement and reassure a young person that recovery is possible.

  • Help them maintain contact with their friends and usual daily activities. Young people experiencing eating disorders can feel very isolated and alone; they may avoid social settings for fear of judgement or to avoid eating. Encourage them to keep up their normal activities as much as possible.

  • Learn more about disordered eating and eating disorders: By learning more about disordered eating and eating disorders, you may be in a better position to understand and empathise with your young person, as well as have a greater understanding of how you can help them. You can learn more by visiting The Butterfly Foundation or the InsideOut Institute.

Looking after yourself

Supporting a young person with an eating disorder can be very challenging, so it’s important that you take care of yourself.  Being at your best means that you can offer greater patience and a more considered approach to helping a young person. 

Ensure that you take care of your own physical and mental health by engaging in helpful behaviours such as getting good sleep, regular exercise, having a healthy diet, limiting alcohol and other drug consumption and maintaining engagement in enjoyable and relaxing activities. Looking after yourself in these ways will also encourage your young person to do the same.

Remember, professional support is available for both you and your young person. For more guidance on how you can best support your young person, contact eheadspace and talk to one of our family and friends specialists.


Other useful websites

It may be useful  for you or your young person to seek support and guidance from The Butterfly Foundation, which provides phone, email, and live webchat support to people experiencing eating disorder concerns.

The headspace Clinical Reference Group oversee and approve clinical resources made available on this website.



The headspace Clinical Reference Group oversee and approve clinical resources made available on this website.

Last reviewed 2 August 2021

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