understanding trauma and finding your way through it

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Trauma is a word that gets used a lot— in lots of different ways, but what does it actually mean? And what can healing look like?

You might hear someone say, ‘that exam was traumatic’, or ‘I’m traumatised after that awkward conversation’. And honestly, it makes sense – those moments can feel intense, overwhelming, and hard to deal with. When something shakes us up emotionally, it can leave a mark even if it doesn’t fit a formal definition of trauma.

And sometimes we might not call it trauma. Maybe you just know that something happened—or is still happening—that’s made life feel heavier. Harder. Like you’re carrying something invisible that other people can’t see. Talking about trauma is not about comparing pain or deciding what “counts” - it’s about understanding how experiences impact us. Whether or not something meets a textbook definition, if it left you feeling unsafe, overwhelmed, or changed in some way- it matters. 

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Learning what trauma is and how it can show up is the first step towards healing.

 

This page will cover:

What is trauma?

It’s important to reflect on the language we use, and how this might be differently understood and related to by others in the context of their life experiences and culture. When we talk about trauma from a mental health perspective we are referring to a lasting response to a deeply distressing event that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope. Trauma isn’t just the event itself. It’s how it lands inside you— trauma can show up in how your body tenses, your breath quickens, your thoughts race. This is your mind doing its best to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. It’s your body trying to keep you alive. Trauma can be boiled down to three elements: a distressing event, how a person experienced this event, and the impact that the experience has on you and your life after the event has passed. Experiences and responses to trauma differ from person to person.  

Sometimes a traumatic event crashes in, loud and sudden- like a car accident, a bushfire, an assault, or a sudden loss. You might hear this called acute or single incident trauma. Other times it can build up with repeated exposure to painful experiences, like bullying, sexual or physical abuse, racism, discrimination, family or intimate partner violence. Trauma can also be experienced from neglect, or not feeling seen, safe, or loved in a good enough way. When a person experiences repeated traumatic events, perhaps a combination of relational and situational events that cause harm and impact them long term across many aspects of their social and emotional wellbeing this is called complex trauma. We can also experience trauma as a witness or bystander to a distressing event. This is called vicarious trauma. 

Some of us carry trauma that’s older than we are. Passed down from parents, grandparents, or communities hurt by violence, racism, war, colonisation, or forced removal from culture. This is intergenerational trauma.

No matter what we call the trauma or where it came from it can have a big impact on how we feel, relate, and navigate the world. 

Trauma became very normalised in my family and almost just ‘another thing’ that we all faced. It was the elephant in the room we were all supposed to ignore, and that created a lot of shame, guilt, and self-blame that at 22 I am still trying to unlearn - young person

How trauma can show up

Trauma looks different for everyone and its effects can show up in all sorts of ways. Sometimes it’s loud—like panic, anger, or nightmares. Sometimes it’s quiet—like numbness, disconnection, or feeling like you’re floating outside your body. It might feel hard to trust people. Or hard to say no to people. It can bring up feelings of shame or guilt for things that weren’t your fault. It can throw up difficult memories. Or mess with your sleep and physical health. Perhaps it shows up as that part that’s always waiting for something bad to happen. Or wants to avoid certain situations. It can also feel like disconnection from faith, identity, culture, community, and Country. 

These are normal and understandable responses to not-normal or scary situations. If these are things you’ve been experiencing, your body and brain have been trying to keep you safe (even if the threat or danger has passed). These are survival responses, not weaknesses. 

Trauma can show up differently for everyone. It’s your mind and body’s way of trying to be strong in ways that others may not always see. 

 

Who experiences trauma?

Anyone can be affected by trauma, and it can have a massive ripple effect on our lives, but different factors will influence how great the impact is on our lives (like whether we had people around to support us at the time). 

Trauma can make it harder to do the things that are important to us, like study, work, connect with others, and have fun. Approximately two-thirds of young people will have been exposed to at least one traumatic event by the time they turn 16. One study found that 84% (or more than 8 out of 10) young people attending headspace centres experienced some form of childhood trauma.  

Some young people might carry a heavier load- not because of who they are, but because of what they have lived through and systems that inadequately support them. Young people that have experienced racism or homelessness, are neurodivergent, living with a disability, or part of any community that has experienced discrimination can be more likely to experience trauma. Trauma can also be related to disconnection from culture, language, land, or faith practices or be experienced by witnessing the struggles faced by people in your community or country — whether through war, natural disaster, or injustice. And these experiences may also intersect. 

Intersectionality is a way of understanding how all the different parts of who we are – like our culture, gender, age, sexuality, disability, wealth, and where we live- can come together and affect our experiences of the world. Some people can face unfair treatment because of how these parts of their identity overlap but it's super important to acknowledge that they may also draw strength and connection from these parts of their identity too. 

Anyone can experience trauma. Intersecting identities and experiences can be both a source of strength and connection as well as increase the possibility of being exposed to trauma because of the ways that social structures around us are built.  

Trauma and PTSD

Often people think about specific trauma-related disorders or diagnoses, like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as the main way that trauma-related difficulties present. The diagnosis of PTSD was first formally recognised in adults in 1980 following research with war veterans and survivors of violence. It focused primarily on male soldiers and did not include young people. What we better understand now is that trauma can deeply affect young people but the symptoms might look different. It is much more likely to show up for young people as a struggle with their mood, anxiety, difficulties in relationships, risk taking behaviours, and/or substance use disorders.  

The important things to focus on if trauma-related difficulties show up are: 

  • You deserve support and care
  • You don’t need a diagnosis to get support

What healing can look like

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending it never happened. It means finding your way through. Slowly. In your own time. Wherever safety lives for you- that’s where healing begins. 

There is also no one way to heal. You might start with small things: lying in the grass and feeling the earth. Listening to or making music. Walking with someone you trust. Talking to an Elder. Painting how it feels. Breathing—on purpose. You might call this grounding or regulating or just unwinding. Anything that invites a sense of calm in you. 

Healing and recovery can be supported in therapy and it can also happen outside therapy. For some people, safety, connection, and healing also comes from family. Or maybe it’s found on basketball courts, in community kitchens, in poetry workshops, at pride events, and in chats with trusted friends.  Healing can grow through cultural practices- like spending time on Country, dancing, drumming, singing in language, or hearing stories passed down through generations. Some people find healing through connecting with prayer, meditation, sacred texts, attending places of worship, or speaking with religious figures and community members. Faith, religion, and spirituality can provide a sense of justice, meaning and collective support after trauma. Whatever helps you feel more like yourself. 

When you are recovering from trauma the self care basics are more important than usual and make a massive difference. Getting enough rest, nourishing your body, moving your body in ways that feel good for you, trying to keep a rhythm and routine. If substance use is part of your life you might think about the role it’s playing. It might sound simple but it’s all useful. 

It might be a journey, but healing can look like:

  • Feeling safer in your body and all parts of your identity 
  • Learning to be kind and compassionate towards yourself 
  • Reconnecting with culture, chosen family, community, and ancestry 
  • Building new, caring relationships
  • Learning how to calm your nervous system in ways that work for you 

 

Recovery or healing is absolutely possible. People heal all the time. They grow stronger, calmer, more self-aware. They connect with their culture, find their voices, build new relationships, and start to feel more themselves again. There might be setbacks, and that’s normal. What’s important is the overall trend toward feeling more hopeful again.

“I feel like more of a person when I'm in nature. When I feel like this loss of identity and not knowing who I am I find that when you are outside, you are just a person and the trees are just trees and you are kind of more connected. Sometimes it feels so hard to navigate life but when you're outside and you're just kind of a living, breathing thing with other living, breathing things, it can be really grounding.”

Facing what feels hard and taking steps forward 

After going through something tough, it makes sense that your body and mind want to keep you safe. Sometimes this can look like avoiding things that feel stressful or overwhelming- for some people this might be hanging out with friends or family, going back to school or work, being in busy places, or even doing activities they used to enjoy. The tricky part is that while avoiding can feel easier in the moment, it can also make your world smaller over time. Research shows that facing challenges, a little bit at a time and with support, can actually help your recovery so you can feel stronger and more in control. It doesn’t have to be huge- make a list of things that you have been putting off and avoiding and start with one that feels in reach. School’s, uni’s and workplaces should also have support people who can help you make a plan so things feel more manageable. Every small step back into life builds confidence. 

When you’re carrying the impacts of trauma we can feel pulled towards keeping life small to feel safe but overtime we can end up missing out on things that matter. An important part of healing from trauma is about gently but consistently taking the next small step towards the life you want. Overtime this builds meaning, connection, and resilience.  

A word on identity, culture, and belonging

You might be figuring out your identity—who you are, who you love, where you come from, or where you belong. If your trauma has made you feel disconnected from your culture, your country, your language, your mob, your family, your faith, your beliefs, your body, or your sense of self—you are not alone.

Many young people say that healing really began when they were able to connect with who they are, in spaces that welcomed all parts of them. It’s also important to acknowledge that trauma experienced in childhood and adolescence can interrupt the usual process of figuring out who we are and where we belong. So, creating safety and connection might be a process of discovering what this feels like rather than reconnecting to something you’ve felt before and this takes time. Learning to relate differently to the traumatised parts of ourselves and our stories, and hold them with care and compassion, is a journey. Wherever you are starting from, culturally safe, inclusive support matters. 

Whatever your identity, you deserve spaces and support where you can feel seen, heard, and safe and the many aspects that shape us and our identities can be a source of strength and healing. For some healing is a process of reconnecting, and for others it might be more of a process of discovery; building safety, compassion and connection for the first time 

“For me, finding queer community is important for my queer identity, but it's also important for this other stuff. People are often left feeling like they're the only ones experiencing a certain thing, and it is just not the case”

When it feels too big

Sometimes, even when you’re trying, it all feels too much. You might feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or like giving up. You might feel stuck in patterns you don’t know how to break. You might even have thoughts about hurting yourself. Please know: these thoughts are common, especially when people carry trauma. But they are not permanent. There is help, and there is hope. Healing also means knowing when to reach out for help. 

Sometimes trauma can make it hard to function. This might look like:

  • Ongoing anxiety, low mood, or anger 
  • Trouble with school, work, or relationships 
  • Difficulties with attention and focus
  • Low self-worth and/or self-neglect
  • Difficulties asserting boundaries and dealing with conflict
  • Avoidance 
  • Flashbacks or nightmares 
  • Dissociation (feeling disconnected)
  • Physical health issues like headaches or gut problems
  • Taking risks that harm yourself or put yourself in danger 
  • Drug or alcohol use to numb feelings 
  • Self-harm and/or suicidal thoughts and behaviours 

 

One of the bravest things you can do is ask for help. Start by telling someone you trust that things have been tough. You don’t have to explain everything. Just saying “I’m not okay” is enough. Like we said before, you don’t need a diagnosis to get help. You don’t need to have everything figured out. You just need to be open to starting a conversation and you don’t need to wait until things feel really bad. 

If there is room for things to feel lighter and easier in your life that’s a great reason to seek help. 

“I still grieve the person I could have been if I had been protected and loved as a child, but I have learnt to sit with my younger self and be the adult they desperately needed to keep them safe”

Sometimes the trauma of violence in the home or in relationships may still be happening. Family violence or intimate partner violence is any behaviour within a family or close relationship that causes physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, or financial harm. It can include things like yelling, threats, controlling behaviours, humiliation, or physical violence- and it can be especially damaging for children and young people. Experiencing violence at home is a form or trauma, and no one should have to live in fear in their own home. Safety is critical. If you and/or your young person are not in a safe situation, reach out to someone who can help

1800 Respect: 1800 737 732 or  www.1800respect.org.au

Family, community care, and supporting each other

Sometimes, trauma is something we go through with others. It can ripple through whole families and whole communities– like a natural disaster, a loss in the family, or being exposed to racism or violence. That means that others around you might be hurting too, even if they show it differently. It can help to talk about it gently, check in with each other, and create space for everyone to feel what they need to feel. You don’t have to carry it all on your own, and you don’t have to fix anyone else. Just being kind, listening and showing up for each other can make a big difference. You also don’t have to talk, meaningful time spent together can be a powerful way to connect, hold, and heal together. Family, whether that’s the family you are related to or the family you choose, can play a massive role in healing and recovering from trauma. 

A few suggestions for supporting others (and yourself at the same time); 

  • Focus on listening and being present without judgment
  • Go slow and avoid pushing anyone to talk or “move on” before they are ready
  • Let them set the pace and respect their boundaries 
  • Remind them that they’re not alone
  • Being consistent, calm and kind helps build safety and trust and supports healing 
  • Connect through activities like sharing and making a meal, listening or playing music, or cultural and faith-based practices
  • Gently encourage them to seek professional support if they need it 

It’s also important to take care of yourself. Lean into self care and community care. Seek support and guidance if you need to.  

You might find our resource for family helpful if you want to explore more ways to support someone who has experienced trauma. 

“Seeking community is not just important for identity, but also important for mental health and being able to support each other, especially when you have people like family or stuff that don't understand or aren't that validating for you. Building yourself but also finding communities.”

Post traumatic growth

Going through something (or lots of things) that are traumatic can change how you see the world – and sometimes, it can even lead to unexpected strengths. Research shows that people who have been through tough times can become more understanding, compassionate, and more able to connect with others. For example, some studies have found that people who experienced trauma in childhood often grow up to have more empathy- they are better at sensing how others feel and more likely to want to help. This can be called post-traumatic growth, when people not only recover but also discover new strengths, like appreciating life more, feeling closer to others, or becoming more confident in themselves. 

Post traumatic growth doesn’t mean the trauma was a good thing or that healing is easy, but it does mean that with time, support, and care, people can grow in powerful ways and this looks different for different people. 

“Healing for me means regaining your identity without it being defined by your trauma and moving to a place of your own truth, comfort, and functionality. It’s not just surviving or making it through but living after"

 

Your story isn’t over

Trauma means you have had to be strong in ways most people might not see but healing does not need to be something that you journey alone. Healing takes as long as it needs to. It begins with understanding. It grows with connection. 

If trauma features in your story know that you are more than what happened to you and healing is possible. When things feel heavy, take things at your pace. Rest when you can. Reach out when you need to. Celebrate your wins—even the tiny ones. 

Healing takes time, and that’s okay but you might just come through it changed in ways that help you to feel stronger, kinder, and more resilient. 

Where to get support

 

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger contact triple zero (000) 

If you or someone you know is suicidal or you need more urgent support contact

 

Want to learn more?

 

The headspace Content Reference Group oversee and approve resources made available on this website.

Last reviewed October 2025

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  • Blue Knot (2023) Fact Sheet: Understanding Trauma Blue Knot Foundation fact sheet to foster understanding around trauma. Blue Knot Foundation  39_BK_FS_UnderstandingTrauma_DEC23.pdf 

  • Beutel, M. E., Tibubos A. N., Klein E. M., Schmutzer G, Reiner I, Kocalevent R. D., Brähler E. (2017) Childhood adversities and distress - The role of resilience in a representative sample. PLoS One. 2017 Mar 15;12(3):e0173826. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0173826. PMID: 28296938; PMCID: PMC5351992.

  • Gayaa Dhuwi. (2024) Prioritising First Nations social and emotional wellbeing after trauma. Gayaa Dhuwi Australia Prioritising First Nations social and emotional wellbeing after trauma - Prioritising First Nations social and emotional wellbeing after trauma - Social and Emotional Wellbeing - WellMob

  • Healing Foundation. (n.d.) Intergenerational trauma. Intergenerational trauma | The Healing Foundation

  • NCTSN (2017) What is complex trauma? A resource guide for youth and those who care about them. The National Child TRaumatic Stress Network

  • Orygen ( ) High levels of trauma major contributor to metal illness in young people, Orygen National Centre of Excelllence. Retrieved 28/06/25 from www.orygen.org.au

  • Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual Foundations and Empirical Evidence. Psychological Inquiry, 15(1), 1–18. http://www.jstor.org/stable/20447194

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