Our families and their opinions and expectations can shape where we want to go and how we can get there. However, it can be common for young people to have a different goal or direction that they would like to explore, which can lead to some difficult or uneasy conversations with family or carers.

We asked three young people from multicultural backgrounds to talk about their experience navigating family expectations, and how these expectations influenced their own work and study goals and experiences.

Occasional pressure or arguments are a normal part of family life. It’s also normal for our family to influence and help us explore different work and study opportunities. We are all different and our unique experiences in life shape how we communicate, what we value and how we live our lives. Disagreements can occur when family members have different values, communication styles, a different approach, or when we just misunderstand what someone means.    

 Some families may have hopes for their young person which could include:   

• study will be prioritised over other activities
• get good grades at school/university/TAFE
• pursue a high-income job such as engineering, medicine or law
• to be financially stable or independent

Our individual experience of life and cultural identity can influence who we are; it can shape significant things about us, such as our values and our social expectations. There are challenges that come with adjusting to a new way of life, and if your family was born overseas, they may have experienced these challenges, and these may form differing views/values to yours.

For a lot of families, a driving motivation may be to provide their young person opportunities that they didn’t have and wanting them to succeed. It’s important to remember that although you can understand and empathise with your family for what they’ve been through and done, it doesn’t mean your idea of success is less valuable than theirs.

Here are some tips to help you navigate a conversation with your family about your work and study goals:

1. choose a time and a place where you can sit and talk without interruptions.
   
   
2. you could ask an elder sibling, family member, community member, friend, teacher or someone else you trust to help you plan or facilitate this discussion.
   
   
3. listen to what they have to say and be honest about your thoughts and feelings.
   
   
4. consider their perspective and acknowledge that their view is just as valid as yours.
   
   
5. focus on shared values or interests and consider doing some activities together.
   
   
6. be prepared to compromise and negotiate options that you are both willing to accept.
   
   
7. take care of yourself and reach out for support if you feel like you need it. You could try some tips for a healthy headspace or connect with a friend, family, community member, or someone else you trust.

Managing work and study expectations can be tricky and may impact you in different ways. It can be hard to know what to do, who to talk to, and where to get help.

It’s important to remember that you’re not alone and there are many young people navigating their career journey with their families. If you want to talk through any questions or concerns about your work and study goals, there are people who can help and support you.