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At the same time, it's common for young people to want to explore different goals or directions, which can lead to important, and sometimes challenging, conversations with family
We asked three young people from multicultural backgrounds to talk about their experience navigating family expectations, and how these expectations influenced their own work and study goals and experiences. Here’s what they shared:
‘I started off at university studying Engineering which I did not enjoy but felt the pressure to continue as my parents were financially supporting me to study at an interstate university. I took a few classes outside of engineering that I was passionate about and realised that there were other subjects out there that I genuinely was motivated to learn about and did well in them because I was passionate about them.’
- Lehan, first-generation Chinese-Australian
Family expectations
Our family can be a positive influence and provide necessary support while we explore different work and study opportunities. It’s also normal to experience occasional pressure or disagreements along the way. We are all different and our unique experiences in life shape how we communicate, what we value and how we live our lives. Disagreements can occur when family have different values, communication styles, a different approach, or over simple misunderstandings.
Family may have hopes for their young person, which could include:
- study being prioritised over other activities
- getting good grades at school/university/TAFE
- pursuing a high-income or highly regarded career, such as engineering, medicine or law
- being financially stable or independent
I definitely felt the pressure and expectations of what they [my family] considered 'acceptable' work and study pathways. I was never actively encouraged to pursue my passions for more creative endeavours such as art and photography.’
– Lehan, first-generation Chinese-Australian
‘The career pathway I had chosen was something that my parents did not understand. To them, if you were not a doctor, a lawyer, dentist etc., then you were not considered “successful”. They had a limited understanding of various career options in Australia, and that was no fault on them at all. Their definition of success compared to mine did not align, and this was a challenge to navigate.’
- Simon, second-generation Vietnamese-Australian
Understanding a different perspective
Our individual experience of life and cultural identity can influence who we are; it can shape significant things about us, like our values and social expectations. There are challenges that come with adjusting to a new way of life, and if your family was born overseas, they may have experienced hurdles adjusting to a new country, culture or system. These experiences can lead to different views or expectations than your own.
A driving motivation for family is often to provide their young person opportunities that they may not have had themselves. It’s important to remember that although you might understand and empathise with your family for what they’ve been through, it doesn’t mean your idea of success is any less valuable.
‘I think once my parents saw that my grades were improving as I was doing classes I enjoyed and did well in, they supported me switching degrees. I think that migrant family expectations around work and study stem from wanting the best opportunities for you that ensure stability and further opportunities that they may not have had themselves.’
- Lehan, first-generation Chinese-Australian
‘There was a lot of anger, confusion, and astonishment. There were arguments about the ‘right vs wrong’ choice but when we finally got to conversations about what was important to each of us, we began to reach a ground of mutual understanding. It’s been nearly a decade since the very first conversation, and we’re still navigating our differences, but our understanding and respect for each other grows every time we have a conversation about the things we value.’
- Winn, first-generation Chinese migrant living in Australia
Advice to anyone managing family expectations
Here are some tips that may help you navigate a conversation with your family about your work and study goals:
- Choose a time and a place where you can sit and talk without interruptions.
- You could ask an older sibling, family member, elder, community member, friend, teacher or someone else you trust to help you plan or support this discussion.
- Listen to what they have to say and be honest about your thoughts and feelings.
- Consider their perspective and acknowledge that their view is just as valid as yours.
- Focus on shared values or goals where possible.
- Be prepared to compromise and negotiate options together.
- Take care of yourself and reach out for support if you need it. You could try some tips for a healthy headspace or connect with a friend, family, community member, or someone else you trust.
'Talk about those feelings! Whether to a friend, teacher, colleague, family or professional, conversations about your feelings matter! It can be really scary, nerve wracking and awkward but also liberating, inspiring and funny when you find that connection point. You’re not alone.’
- Winn, first-generation Chinese migrant living in Australia
‘I think it's important to understand where your family expectations are coming from, but also to take the opportunities to explore your own interests and shape your own future into something that you can be proud of for yourself and discover what you're passionate about, outside of what you've been influenced by family expectations.’
- Lehan, first-generation Chinese-Australian
‘Approach everything with empathy and try and understand things from their perspective. Even though they might want you to do certain things or make certain decisions, they may have grown up in a completely different world, and this is your life. It is completely okay that they might not ever fully understand you. Be courageous in going after what you want, if given the opportunity. Everything will always work out in the end - take it from someone who at one point thought I would crumble under my families’ pressure and expectations!’
- Simon, second-generation Vietnamese-Australian
Managing work and study expectations can be tricky and may impact you in many different ways. It can be hard to know what to do, who to talk to, and where to get help.
It’s important to remember that you’re not alone and there are many young people navigating their career journey with their family. If you’d like support working through your options or concerns, there are people who can help.
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If you're aged 15 – 25, headspace can help you navigate your options and develop the skills and confidence to reach your work or study goals.
headspace Work & Study programs are free to access online or in-person at over 50 of our headspace centres.
The headspace Content Reference Group oversee and approve clinical resources made available on this website.
Last reviewed January 2026.
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