Natural disasters can be hard to cope with. People can respond in very different ways which also change over time. Our fact sheet on coping with natural disasters has a lot of information that might be helpful to understand their experience a little better, and can leave you best placed to support them.

With the support of friends, family and the broader community, young people who experience natural disasters are often able to recover, and do not experience ongoing difficulties. 

You might notice some changes in your friend in the first few weeks and months. These might include; difficulty in relationships with others, wanting to be alone, trouble sleep, changed appetite, and possibly alcohol and other drug use.

These can be common reactions and natural coping responses. However, they are linked with increased likelihood of ongoing difficulties. As a result it is helpful to try to address these early, to prevent them from becoming a pattern of coping. It’s important to build coping strategies that are better linked to recovery, and can help people return to living the life they want.

Finding the words to start a conversation isn’t easy, especially when you don’t know what kind of help you can offer.

Remember, you don’t need to ‘fix’ things. Don’t push them to talk about the natural disaster or its impact on them. Instead, let them know you are there for them if they do want to talk about it.

If they don’t open up, don’t take it personally or think you can’t help. Simply showing you care and that you have their back can give your friend strength and hope. This also tells them that you’re someone they can talk to if they do decide to open up more later on.

If they do open up, it can be really helpful to reassure them that it is OK to feel whatever it is that they are feeling. You might suggest they visit the headspace website to get some tips on how to look after themselves. It is also a good idea to suggest that they find a trusted adult to talk to about things if it is all feeling a bit much. Remember, you’re their mate and not their counsellor.  As a mate, you can offer a lot in being there for them, doing some things you used to do together to try and get a bit of normality and routine back in their life..

If you‘ve been exposed to a natural disaster or other traumatic events in the past (e.g., other natural disasters, physical or sexual assault, a car accident), it can be tricky to support your friends.  

You may notice that listening to other’s experiences might bring up feelings or emotions for yourself The sorts of things that you might notice include more clear  (e.g., you are feeling very distressed) or more subtle signs (e.g., you are feeling increasingly disconnected, numb, or doing things you wouldn’t normally do).

You may also find yourself comparing your reaction to the event to theirs. There is no right way or single way in which people respond to a natural disaster. So the chances are, you may well be reacting differently and that’s OK. Try not to get caught up in comparing your reactions, this is unlikely to be helpful for either of you. You may be feeling angry, scared, relieved, numb, shocked or any number of other emotions. These are all perfectly normal reactions to a not normal situation.

You might be struggling to cope too, and you need to look after your own needs while also trying to be there for your friend.

To manage these things, it is a good idea to:

• Pay close attention to how you’re feeling and calling in the support of a trusted adult if you’re feeling overwhelmed by trying to support a friend
• Practice some things you can say to set boundaries if you are worried about them, but also feeling very overwhelmed yourself. For example, “I want you to know that I’m here for you. I am not in the best place to talk a lot about it at the moment but maybe we can support each other just by being around and doing some things we used to do together. It is really important that you do have someone to talk who you can trust, maybe I can help you figure out who that is.”
• Take some time to read more information about coping after a natural disaster to get more tips on how to look after yourself