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"Gaming could mean a lot of things to a lot of young people. For me, gaming serves as a way for me to escape the real world and immerse myself in an activity that I can enjoy and thrive in. After a long day of work, studies and other commitments, getting stuck into a game can really help me unwind and relax." - young gamer.
A recent study by the eSafety Commissioner into the online gaming experiences of over 2000 young Australians found that most young people play and enjoy online video games. All the young gamers surveyed said they play with others online. They listed a range of benefits, including:
- skill building and getting better at using digital technology
- learning new things
- building confidence
- forming social connections
- working as a team
- solving problems
For some young people, gaming adds structure to their daily routine. It can be a way to relax or wind down after a long or stressful day. Gaming can enable young people to find acceptance and a sense of belonging from being part of a community. This can be especially important for those who feel excluded or misunderstood in their offline communities, or who face challenges joining offline activities for other reasons. Gaming can help with emotion regulation, promote self-esteem, creativity and persistence, build planning and communication skills, as well as simply being fun!
There can be downsides to gaming too. If a young person is spending a lot of their time gaming, this might be affecting other important things in their life, such as study, work, offline relationships or being physically active. Other potential downsides include being bullied or left out, having personal information sold or misused, and being scammed or exposed to gambling, pornography and/or violent material.
If you are close to a young person who enjoys gaming, the list of concerns can quickly feel overwhelming. It’s important to know there are ways to help young people stay safe while gaming, and steps to take if problems do happen.
"Gaming is a pretty normal part of most young people's lives (and in fact a lot of adults use gaming as a relaxation/leisure activity). Like most technology, it is constantly evolving, so it's important to ask questions, engage with your young person as much as you can." - parent of a gamer.
Healthy gaming tips
There is a lot that you and the young person can do to reduce the risk of harm while enjoying the good things about gaming. These ideas are a good place to start.
1. Lead by example
A young person will notice if you are telling them one thing and doing the opposite. Model the kind of behaviours you would like to see in the young person by aiming for balance in your own life. Set limits around your own device use and demonstrate other ways of connecting and taking care of yourself.
2. Select the right games
Depending on the age of the young person, you might help them choose games that best suit their needs. Consider game classifications and age restrictions, the features of the games, and their potential positives and negatives. If possible, watch some game play together before choosing new games. If relevant, find out what parental, family or user controls are available. These can act in a range of ways to help support healthy gaming.
The eSafety Commissioner’s eSafety Guide provides detailed information and safety tips on a range of specific games, apps and other online sites.
3. Set limits together
Team up with the young person to talk through potential issues and set rules (or make agreements) around gaming that are acceptable to both of you. Giving a young person some say in setting limits will help them learn to take responsibility for their wellbeing and be proactive in staying safe.
Listen to what’s important to the young person about the games they play, and how restricting their gaming might affect other aspects of their lives (such as their relationships with their friends or their ways to relieve stress). Aiming to reduce harm is likely to be more effective than trying to make a young person stop gaming completely. Show interest in their ideas about how to reduce unwanted impacts. Discuss the ideas in this article for staying safe while gaming.
Revisit any rules and agreements made with the young person as often as needed.
4. Be interested. Get involved or co-play
Showing interest in the games a young person is playing sends a message that you are open to talking with them about their gaming, and can pave the way for conversations about how they can protect themselves from possible harm. We know that most young gamers are keen to take steps to be safe online, and want more to be done to keep gaming safe.
If the young person is open to it, ask them to introduce you to their games and teach you to play. Ask them what they enjoy about their games, what the challenges are, how they’ve gotten better at the game and what they are learning through playing. You could also ask for their ideas on what the downsides to the games might be, and how they would know when to take a step back. Stay tuned in to their experience of gaming and maintain your interest over time.
You can also encourage the young person to:
- keep personal details private; tighten privacy settings
- choose to play in respectful online environments where they feel comfortable
- use mute buttons or app settings to take breaks from behaviour they don’t like
- report upsetting or hurtful behaviour
- stay aware that some people they meet online might try to trick them
- take regular breaks. Be aware that games are designed to keep people online and/or encourage them to spend
- keep track of spending (Note: due to game design, this might not be easy to do. For more detailed information refer to the eSafety Commissioner's help sheet on gaming)
The efforts you make to build understanding and good communication with the young person supports your relationship and should serve you well if they do run into problems through gaming.
Encourage them to let you or another trusted adult know if anything happens while gaming that upsets them or makes them uncomfortable. Tell them that no matter how big the problem might seem at the time, you are there for them and will help them find a way to solve it.
When should I worry about a young person’s gaming?
Every young person is different. If you are close to a young gamer, you might be someone they would turn to if they wanted help. You might know and understand them better than most, and be well positioned to notice changes that could signal they need support. Depending on the young person and their unique situation, some signs you might notice include:
· continuing to game when they no longer enjoy it, or spending more time gaming than they want to
· feelings of anger, frustration, and/or aggressive behaviour, especially when asked to moderate or step away from their gaming
· feeling sad, worried or more easily upset than usual; seeming anxious when not using their device
· not getting enough sleep due to gaming, or not sleeping well
· gaming is affecting their schooling, cultural activities, study or work
· changes in energy levels or appetite
· finding it hard to concentrate
· unexplained headaches, muscle soreness or stomach aches
· unexplained spending or need for money
· not wanting to spend time with close friends and family
· not wanting to do things they usually enjoy
If you notice these or other changes in the young person, share your concerns with them and try to understand their experience. Even if the young person isn’t comfortable opening up at first, checking in with them shows you care and you’re willing to talk.
The changes you’ve noticed might have nothing to do with gaming and could mean something else is going on for the young person. Gaming can be a way for some young people to escape other challenges in their lives, so a curious, non-judgmental approach is important.
Discuss with the young person what might help them. For some, this could mean seeking professional support or finding more balance in their life by spending more time doing other activities they enjoy. Connecting with friends, family, community members, spiritual or religious leaders and cultural activities and practices can help young people feel good and give them a sense of belonging. This is the essence of the ‘Social & Emotional Wellbeing’ model of health in First Nations culture. For First Nations young people, that might mean connecting with cultural practice, Country, family and kinship networks. This approach to wellbeing is also helpful for non-Indigenous young people.
"Be wary of changes in gaming. Increased interest or time spent on gaming, while often can be normal, can also be a sign that something else in a young person's life is happening. Gaming can be used as a coping mechanism or a way to escape from other issues in a young person's life." - young gamer.
Harm through gaming - what could go wrong and what to do about it
Like many other enjoyable activities, gaming can expose young people to some risks. Here is a brief description of some things that could go wrong.
Spending too much time gaming and/or finding it hard to stop
Games are often designed to encourage people to keep playing, and the features that make it hard to stop can be tricky to recognise. “How much time is too much?” depends on the impact gaming is having on the young person’s life (eg sleep, work or study, relationships, cultural activities and overall wellbeing.)
Spending too much money
Gamers can be encouraged to spend money in a range of ways. These can be subtle and built into the design of a game, so sometimes the young person is not aware of their spending. Some gaming influencers direct young people to play certain games or spend money using their influencer codes for financial gain. Online gaming can also expose a young person to financial scammers. Young people can end up feeling pressure to find ways to meet gaming-related payments.
Bullying
This can happen inside and outside the games. Online bullying through gaming can carry over into a young person’s real life peer groups and workplace or school. Bullying, wherever it occurs, can be very distressing for a young person.
Giving away personal information
Just like other online activities, gaming can present a young person with invitations to share or give access (with or without the young person’s knowledge) to identifiable information that could be used for unsafe purposes.
From gaming to gambling
Some electronic games involve betting or include other gambling-like activities. Some look much like traditional casino games, such as roulette or poker. Some promote the purchase of virtual or in-game currencies to spend on products such as ‘loot boxes’, or ‘skins’ . These types of games could make gambling seem familiar, harmless and fun.
Exposure to harmful content
This includes misleading or manipulative information, or distressing, violent, illegal or restricted material such as pornography. The effects on a young person exposed to such content can be significant.
Unwanted or unsafe contact
This can be from strangers or someone known to the young person, and can be a form of family or intimate partner violence . It covers a range of harmful activities such as stalking, grooming, sexual violence or extortion (see below), violence and online abuse.
Image-based abuse
Image-based abuse, including sexual exploitation (or sextortion ). This can take the form of blackmail, where a person or group threatens to share sexual or nude images of someone online unless they meet certain demands. It can be extremely distressing for the person being threatened or exploited.
"Be curious, but non-judgmental. Young people want to feel safe when they are discussing issues like their gaming. When something goes wrong, it is important to approach conversations with a non-judgmental approach and recognise that it may take young people more than one conversation to feel comfortable expressing their concerns." - young gamer.
If the young person tells you they have run into trouble through their gaming
- Reassure them that you care about them and want to help
- Stay calm. Getting upset or angry will make it harder to support the young person. Take a few deep breaths if you need
- Listen without judgement. Don’t rush them; give them time to find the words to share what is important to them
- Focus on the current situation, not what you think they could have done differently
- If they have been bullied, tricked or exploited online, tell them it is not their fault
- Let them know that these sorts of things are common and they are not alone
Avoid making hasty decisions to restrict the young person’s gaming or online activity. Instead, depending on the nature of the problem, consider with your young person what could be done to make the experience safer and more enjoyable.
Where relevant, apply the advice of the eSafety Commission by following the links in the ‘Harm through gaming’ section above. This might involve making a report to authorities or contacting government or industry bodies. Consider finding informal support through trusted family, friends and Community, and/or seeking professional help.
If you are concerned about the young person’s wellbeing and think they need professional support, encourage them to reach out:
- At their local headspace centre
- Online or by phone with eheadspace
- Talk to a GP about options for counselling
- Find out if there is counselling available to the young person through their workplace, school or study provider
- 13YARN / 13 92 76 provides 24/7 support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people
- QLife / 1800 184 527 (3.00pm – 12.00am) provides counselling and support for LGBTQI+ people
Of course, if the young person’s life or safety is at risk and they need urgent help, call 000.
If they are having thoughts of suicide, contact Kids Helpline / 1800 55 1800, or the Suicide Call Back Service / 1300 659 467.
Looking after yourself is important too
"The world is constantly changing - it can be daunting to keep up. Young people don't need us to have all the answers and sometimes we will need to seek support from experts. You are not alone; there are people who can help. You will be better able to support your young person when you keep yourself well and show them that sometimes we need to ask for help." - parent of a gamer.
It can be hard when you’re worried about a young person. You might feel powerless to help, especially if they don’t share your concern or want your support. When it comes to gaming, you might not feel equipped to give the young person the kind of help they need. Don’t underestimate the effect of simply showing you care, ‘being there’ for them, and offering a listening ear.
While it might not come easily to think about your needs when your focus is on the young person, it is important to look after yourself. Online harms range from relatively minor to seriously exploitative or abusive. If you are feeling out of your depth or finding it hard to manage on your own, don’t hesitate to seek your own help.
eheadspace clinicians are available to talk with you, online or by phone, about how you can support your young gamer.
Useful Resources
eSafety parent guide to online gaming.pdf
Better conversations about gaming for families_0.pdf (esafety.gov.au)
Levelling up to stay safe - gaming report.pdf (esafety.gov.au)
Balancing your time online | eSafety Commissioner
Digital wellbeing | eSafety Commissioner
Documentary of interest: Ibelin - Official Trailer (2024) - English subtitles (youtube.com)
This article was developed in collaboration with the office of the eSafety Commissioner and complements the wealth of resources provided on the eSafety Commissioner’s website.
The headspace Clinical Reference Group oversee and approve clinical resources made available on this website.
Last reviewed Nov 2024.
Brilliant, DT, Nouchi, R., & Kawashima, R., 2019. Does video gaming have impacts on the brain: evidence from a systemic review. Brain Sciences MDPI 25;9(10):25 doi: 10.3390/brainsci9100251
Chapter 6 - Simulated gambling and gambling-like activities – Parliament of Australia (aph.gov.au)
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eSafety Commissioner, Feb 2024. Levelling up to stay safe: Young people’s experiences navigating the joys and risks of online gaming
Fraser, N. 2024 Children’s online safety legislation and regulations – a backgrounder. Parliamentary Library, Research Paper Series, 2024-25
Kowal, M., Conroy, E., Ramsbottom, N., Smithies, T., Toth, A. & Campbell, M. 2021. Gaming your mental health: a narrative review on mitigating symptoms of depression and anxiety using commercial video games. JMIR Serious Games 9(2) doi:10.2196/26575
O’Gormon et al 2024 Game boys: Gaming, Esports, and young men’s mental health, in Seidler (ed 2024 Masculinities and mental health in young men: from echo chambers to evidence
Suomi, A., Kim, J., Culbong, H., Sollis, K., Bailey, M., Masters, A. 2024. Young adults gambling online in the ACT. ACT Commission for Gambling and Racing, Canberra
Weinstein, A. & Lejoyeux, M. 2020 Neurological mechanisms underlying internet gaming disorder Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience. 22(2):113-126. doi: 10.31887
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