eheadspace Group Chat
Loading, please wait...
Group Chat
navigating relationships14
March 2nd 2020 @ 6pm AEDT
Relationships impact our mental health and wellbeing. Positive relationships provide a feeling of being respected and cared for. Join the community to find out what makes a healthy relationship and how to get things on track.

General Coping chats every Wednesday 6pm-10pm (Melbourne time - AEST)!

 

Aboriginal flag4tsi flag4rainbow flag4aus flag4

Community Guidelines

This is NOT an emergency service – if you are in immediate danger please call 000

Be friendly and welcoming: it takes courage to post your story, so it is important to welcome anyone to spaces and provide support

Respect people’s boundaries, beliefs, and ideas

Never post details of self-harm, suicide methods, methods to lose weight, abuse or medication. Whilst it is important to talk about suicide and self-harm, it is important to do this safely and respectfully

Keep identifying information such as email address, full name, photos of yourself or someone you know private: it is important for you to maintain your anonymity for your safety

Remember that all advice and support is given by your peers. This means that we encourage you to remember this if you decide to follow any advice given. If you would like professional support you can contact eheadspace

Limit the frequency of your posts so the discussion can flow: Spamming the chat can lead to a pause or ban on your account, it is important to allow everyone to speak freely.

Swearing is permitted, however swearing at another person is not permitted

Report abuse and flag items that violate the community guidelines

Keep your messages age appropriate: eheadspace is a service for young people age 12- 25, explicit sexual material or graphic depictions of abuse are not permitted

When providing a useful resource, ensure it is appropriate for our age range (12-25)

Ensure you are not encouraging illegal behaviour

You may receive a message from one of our moderators. This may be to check in after a concerning post, or to discuss the content from your post. Please respond to our message as we are doing our best to make sure you are safe and happy. We want you to be able to express yourself on Spaces, however, if you have clearly broken our community guidelines, your post will not be submitted and your account may be reviewed.

 


Checkout Community Spaces https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/spaces/community/

To participate in the chat, you will have to login/create an account. Otherwise, feel free to watch as a guest.

We welcome your feedback, please complete this form https://headspace.tod.net.au/incidents/new/4c38788079baacf32f5b8afe68d65c71

Community Spaces Guidelines https://headspace.org.au/terms-and-conditions/community-spaces-guidelines/


 

Grace - Community Manager
Moderator
2nd Mar, 12:01 pm
Join our Peer Support Moderators to talk all things relationships ✨
Grace - Community Manager
Moderator
2nd Mar, 12:01 pm
This chat will be run by young people for young people to have a safe space to give and receive support! We are trained peer support moderators, but we are NOT mental health professionals
Grace - Community Manager
Moderator
2nd Mar, 12:01 pm
We really value everyone contributing to this community and being friendly and respectful to one-another
Grace - Community Manager
Moderator
2nd Mar, 12:01 pm
As a reminder:
This is not an emergency service - if you are in need of immediate help, please call 000
Other helpful places:
Lifeline (for any age):
Phone - 13 11 14 – available 24 hours a day Webchat - https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/online-services/crisis-chat - available 7pm to Midnight (NSW time)
Kids Help Line (ages 5 -25 yo):
Phone - 1800 55 1800 – available 24 hours day Webchat - https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling - available 24 hours a day
Suicide Call Back Service:
Phone - 1300 659 467 – available 24 hours a day Webchat (for 15 yo +) - https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/phone-and-online-counselling/suicide-call-back-service-online-counselling/ - available 24 hours a day
Grace - Community Manager
Moderator
2nd Mar, 12:02 pm
Join our Peer Support Moderators tonight from 6:15pm-10pm AEST (Melbourne time) and chat with your peers 😊
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:13 pm
Hi everyone, its that time of the week again where we can come together and talk about all things relationships.
Before we start I want to pay my respects to the traditional custodians of the land from which I am joining you all today as the Kaurna people. I pay my respects to elders past, present and emerging.
Please take a few short moments to read our community guidelines to ensure this is a safe and inclusive space for all. Speak to others with the respect that you would want to be spoken to.
Please also keep in mind that we as the moderators are not professionals but peers and therefore if you are in an emergency please call 000 or lifeline.
My name is Memelord and I use he/him pronouns. I am joining you all from the cold CBD of Adelaide :D
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:13 pm
Hi everyone!!! Im Maddi (she/her) one of your mods tonight! Super exited to be doing this chat tonight!
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:15 pm
I would also like to pay my respects to the Wurundjeri people who are the Traditional Custodians of the land in which Headspace Office and my home is situated on. I would like to pay respect to Elders past, present, and emerging and their continuing connection to land, waters and culture.
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:15 pm
Hi everyone I'm Happy_Fox and I use she/her pronouns :) I'm joining from Shoalhaven on the NSW coast which is on Wandi Wandian country
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:18 pm
Hi everyone, I am slothching and I use she/her pronouns! My day has been hectic but good! :)
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:18 pm
How's everyone's day been so far?
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:18 pm
Amazing! Been visiting temples in Bali the whole day :)
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:18 pm
not too bad today Memelord, had to deal with Centrelink all morning but fingers crossed its all sorted ahaha. Spoke to my counsellor as well which always leaves me feeling a bit more positive :)
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:19 pm
we had very different days hahaha Maddi!
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:19 pm
hello :D
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:19 pm
Maddi your day sounds a lot better than mine. I was studying all day. First day back at uni for me :/
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:20 pm
Oh centrelink can be a bit of a drag... I had to deal with them the day before I left and it was very stressful because I had a time limit.
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:20 pm
Hello and welcome!
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:20 pm
Hey Scorpius! How are you :)
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:20 pm
im good, thanks :)
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:21 pm
Welcome Scorpius, how has your day been? :)
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:21 pm
it's been okay, a few things happened at school but i think my friends have gotten over it
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:22 pm
Did you want to talk about it?
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:22 pm
yeah
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:23 pm
Feel free to share whatever you're comfortable with!
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:23 pm
Thanks for joining Scorpius
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:24 pm
I apparently insulted my friend during on of the classes we had and I dont really know what i said but they refuse to tell me what hurt them. I'm willing to tell them im sorry, but i feel like they should also say sorry cuz they slapped me (and since i wear glasses, that kinda hurt)
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:26 pm
That's not a great start to the week for sure. Seems like a tough day for you :( Its a credit to you that you want to apologise and make up with them (and they should apologise too for slapping you!)
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:27 pm
Sometimes people need a bit of time before they can move forward. Maybe tomorrow you can say something like 'I'm sorry I hurt you. Its important to me that I know what i said that hurt you so I dont do it again.
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:28 pm
good response Fox. Might also be worth telling them that slapping is not the right way to deal with it
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:29 pm
100%
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:29 pm
i got my other friend to ask them why they slapped me and they said that i had insulted her, i said that i dont remember insulting her, but the other friend offered to ask her to apologise.
he did ask her to apologise but she apparently doesn't think its necessary for her to apologise (she's said this a few times before)
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:30 pm
hmmmm has she ever slapped you before?
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:30 pm
nope
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:31 pm
Perhaps what she needs is a little time to reflect on what she has done, perhaps try again in a couple days? But I agree with what the others have said! It isn't okay that she slapped you and it might not be a bad idea to let her know this as well after she cools off!
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:33 pm
Hey XClsiuS! Welcome to the chat! Feel free to jump in whenever you feel comfortable. Hows your day been?
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:33 pm
we're just talking about how to communicate (and fight) healthily with friends
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:34 pm
also my friends are really sh1tty towards me but i can't really drop em cuz i dont have anyone else to talk to and i really dont want to look like im some weirdo loner at school :(
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:34 pm
Hello, there! I'm just checking out the chat as I'm waiting for a one-on-one conversation :)
I should be return here afterwards to contribute.
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:35 pm
No worries XClsius!
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:36 pm
Yes that can be quite tricky sometimes when we feel a bit dependant on certain friends. Have you thought about trying to reach out to some other people? Having a diverse group of friends can often come in handy when we have disagreements/fights like this.
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:36 pm
I'm sorry that's the case for you Scorpius, that sucks. Do you enjoy spending time with your friends at least sometimes or are they more just people to hang around?
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:37 pm
Welcome Anon4046! :) Do you have a preferred name/pronouns?
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:40 pm
i usually just hang around with them because they're the only people i feel comfy talking to
and i've had this one person in the friend group say that they dont trust me simply because im "me"
Like today, a group of friends where playing truth or dare and this person got asked to tell the group of people sitting there who they liked (its silly, i know) but the person said that they wouldn't tell everyone (while looking to me) and they straight up drew an imaginary line in between me and the person sitting next to me and said "i'll only be telling these people" (everyone but me) and it made me feel like sh1t.
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:41 pm
thats really crap and you dont deserve to be treated that way
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:41 pm
has anyone else been in a similar situation and have any ideas?
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:41 pm
they didnt even say sorry when i cried in class because they said they dont trust me because im me.
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:43 pm
Are there any interests groups or clubs at your school? I went through something similar in school and I met new friends through clubs and societies that I was interested in. I was eventually able to distance myself away from the ones who made me feel like crap
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:43 pm
there are clubs but they're only run in term 2 and 3
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:45 pm
are there people within the friendship group who you feel comfortable with? maybe you could have a chat to them about how you have been feeling. it does sound a bit like bullying though which is never ok
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:45 pm
I agree with slothching! I think its important to remain friends with the ones that treat you well but maybe distance yourself from the ones that dont treat you with the respect you deserve. Clubs/sports/music are all great ways to do this. I did it with music!
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:45 pm
they also claimed that anxiety wasnt real and that i get mad over really stupid things :)
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:47 pm
That is definitely not okay. You're feelings are completely valid and I am sorry you are having to deal with this. Is there perhaps a teacher you feel comfortable with or perhaps even a school counselor? It might be worth having a chat to an adult you trust about this.
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:48 pm
For anyone new who may be joining us, welcome! Feel free to jump in whenever you feel comfortable to! :)
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:49 pm
I suppose I'll pitch in with an experience of mine as I wait for my 1-on-1 conversation, haha.
During the early years of primary school, I felt like an outcast since I was unable to communicate in English at the time.
The mixed signals from my intonation of words sometimes strained the friendships I had with my peers, such as using somewhat insensitive words in sensitive situations. As such, many people felt uncomfortable when they were talking with me, and vice versa.
Looking back, it sucks knowing how some people forget the language barrier and attack others who don't speak the language fluently.
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:51 pm
there is a school counselor but i dont feel comfortable talking to them about friendship problems because it all seems so silly
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:52 pm
I think this is very true. Often people lack a bit of insight into other people, whether its not understanding the challenges of language barriers or not enough knowledge on anxiety.
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:53 pm
the counsellor is there to help you through the things that are having an impact on your wellbeing. Those things will be different for everyone. I spoke to my uni counsellor today about friendship problems and study stuff. No thing is too small
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:53 pm
hi :)
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:54 pm
Hey! How are you rosetaylor!
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:54 pm
it always feels so silly to talk to any adult about 13 year old friendship problems
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:54 pm
I'm well thank you :)
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:54 pm
hi rose! i remember you from the last group chat
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:54 pm
welcome Rose, we're just chatting about when friends make you feel a bit shit and some ways to make new friends and tell them about how you have been feeling. Join in :)
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:55 pm
I remember you too!
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:55 pm
Definitely agree with what happy_fox has said! I used to hesitate to share my problems with my counselor because I did not want to burden them. Then my counselor started telling me that they do what they do because they enjoy listening to people and helping them in any way I can. It helped me alot to think of it in a more positive light so I felt more comfortable when sharing my problems with them.
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:56 pm
Everyone has problems with friends and it may take a while to navigate who your true friends are. No problem is too small! You should feel no shame in speaking to a counsellor
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:57 pm
I agree 100% @rosetaylor
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:57 pm
also Scorpius you're talking to us about it right now! a counsellor is just a step up from us :)
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:57 pm
100%!
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:57 pm
i might have to disappear for a few minutes while i go prepare something sorry :(
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 6:58 pm
Thats ok, we'll be here until 945ish if you want to jump back on :)
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:59 pm
Sorry if I'm interrupting anyone! Could I ask a question about general coping?
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:00 pm
Yea definitely, what would you like to chat about :)
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 6:59 pm
Speaking of friends, I've recently lost almost every one of them at the start of this year.
By "lost", I meant recently losing contact via online/in-person
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:00 pm
I can totally relate! Did a fight or disagreement break you apart or did you just drift?
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:00 pm
Im sorry to hear that XclsiuS. Can be really hard when we feel like we lose people. But there is always a fresh face round the corner thats for sure.
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:01 pm
Just a question about coping with the death of a public figure, it sounds silly, but I've found it difficult to move forward/ stop feeling sad about my favourite actors passing. Is there anything I could do to heal?
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:01 pm
For approx. 90% of my friend circle, life after high school meant resulted in many changes. Whether it was different universities, work arrangements and such, it's been difficult to find time to connect with them.
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:02 pm
Honestly, growing up and maturing is a huge reason why people fall apart and thats totally okay! You are all evolving into better versions of yourselves :)
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:03 pm
That's really tough XClsius, I'm just rediscovering this feeling after moving away from my hometown for uni. We all want to stay friends but being in a different city with different schedules, lives and interests makes things tricky
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:04 pm
Inevitably I lost friends, but with my really close friends we set up a monthly catch up on a day we all have free. Like a tuesday night we'll grab some dinner or have a group call just to touch base. Its not the best but it has helped me
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:06 pm
That sounds like such a good idea to stay connected Happy_Fox! It is okay to go your own way though. What if its leading you to a place or new friends better than you imagined?
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:07 pm
I think it is absolutely really hard when famous people that we admire pass away. Despite never meeting them, we often feel very close with them and know they have helped us and inspired us. I have had a similar experience previously and I tried to acknowledge what they have done for me and how they have helped me, just as we might do with a relative/friend. And also remember that they are still there in spirit and inspiration. - @rosetaylor
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:07 pm
and Rose, grief is a very real thing to experience when you feel a loss. It can be a loss of someone you love, someone you admire, or something important to you like a goal. I don't know much about it I'm sorry but I found this if you want to give it a read https://au.reachout.com/articles/feeling-grief-when-someone-famous-dies
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:09 pm
Yes definetely, its Heath Ledger if anyone was wondering :'(( I have spoken to my best friend and he said "just be happy that he is still bringing joy to you" I think what makes me so upset about it is the fact he had much more in front of him, his death was so tragic and his pinnacle was just beginning. Its also heartbreaking that Matilda does not remember her father :'( Its very saddening, he was brilliant
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:10 pm
Thank you for the help Happy_Fox and Maddi
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:10 pm
Aye, I can definitely resonate with the feelings following the death of famous people, Rose!
For me, Stephen Hawking was a role model as I grew up. The work he did in his field was interesting, and also helped to develop our understanding of space. When he died in 2018, I was among several who grieved with his passing.
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:11 pm
hi, im back :)
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:11 pm
Stephen Hawking is incredible. Welcome back Scorpius! We're talking about how to cope with celebrity death
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:12 pm
Welcome back!
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:13 pm
I haven't actually dealt with celebrity death but one of my favourite actors just left a play i love and i never got to see him perform (i got one of his understudies) and its make me feel sad :( but it's not as bad as death
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:14 pm
It's very normal to feel that way! Who is the actor if I can know?
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:14 pm
William Mckenna
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:15 pm
as i've mentioned before, im a big fan of harry potter
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:15 pm
From Nowhere Boys and 'You're skitting me?'
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:15 pm
yes!
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:15 pm
he was also Scorpius in Harry Potter and the cursed child but he left recently for the year 2 cast
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:16 pm
Is that why you chose Scorpius as your username???/
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:15 pm
I got really upset when Paul Walker passed away. I loved the fast and the furious films
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:16 pm
Scorpius is my preferred name, but i chose it as my name bc i connect with his character SO much its crazy
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:17 pm
Paul Walker was angelic, he left behind a great legacy. It's very comforting to know I'm not the only one going through it :')
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:17 pm
Always the absolute legends that leave us so soon unfortunately :(
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:18 pm
I've always been interested in resurrection, especially so for celebrities.
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:18 pm
I.e. wondering how they would impact us if they were alive once again.
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:19 pm
Exactly! What more could they have done?
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:20 pm
I recall a forum post that someone wrote last year, and it definitely applies to everyone, famous or not.
"To create is to become eternal. Even after your death, your works and creations will have impacted the world, and you live on through that impact - Even if nobody knows your name. Creation makes people happy, and it's great to forge a legacy you can proudly declare yours. So long as you have the passion to achieve it, you'll feel happier."
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:21 pm
i love that
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:21 pm
Such a beautiful quote, omg. Wow :'')
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:22 pm
Thats a really gorgeous quote.
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:22 pm
It's a good one for sure
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:23 pm
also im just going to add onto my list of bad things my friends have done:
1. they teased me for liking a fictional character
2. they teased me and shipped me with my science teacher because i liked him as a teacher
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:24 pm
I think liking a fictional character is something a lot of us can relate to. I know I can. Nothing to feel ashamed of and definitely not worth being teased for.
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:25 pm
i got told i couldn't like the villian of Harry potter because 'UWU HES A BADDDDD GUY!!! YOU CANT like bad guys because you find villians interesting!!!1!!! YOU hAVE to have LOGICAL REASON BEHIND LIKING THE CHARACTER OR ELSE U SUPPORT THE CHARACTERS WAYS AND UR BAD!!!111!!!"
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:26 pm
sometimes its worth thinking- is that feedback helpful to me at all? if its not, get rid of it from your head. It takes practice but its so much better
ashreya1813
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:26 pm
Hi everyone!
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:27 pm
Welcome!! :)
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:27 pm
Yes totally, I really need to work on that technique Happy_Fox I never thought about it that way!
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:27 pm
Hi ashreya1813!
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:27 pm
Not true Scorplus I like a lot of bad characters :D
ashreya1813
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:27 pm
heyy rosetaylor
ashreya1813
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:28 pm
Slothching thank you :)
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:28 pm
You definetley dont need to feel bad or be unobligated to not like them Scorpius! Absolutely not. The Joker is mine, I think we all have a favourite villian!
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:31 pm
and i cant find a villian character mildly attractive because hes a villian
welL IM SORRY, I just cANNOt handle Tom riddle in the second harry potter movie (and the second harry potter movie only)
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:29 pm
Bad characters are sometimes the coolest! :) What do you usually say to them when they tease you like this?
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:29 pm
i just let it happen
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:30 pm
Thats not good. One of my biggest regrets is not sticking up for myself when being bullied. What do you think would help you?
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:31 pm
i have no clue
Elmax
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:31 pm
hi
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:31 pm
Hi A6699!
ashreya1813
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:31 pm
Anonymous 6699 hey welcome
Elmax
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:31 pm
how are you
Dru Dru
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:31 pm
Hi
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:31 pm
Reading from Scorpius's message, one of the concepts of fiction is to intentionally suspend logical outcomes for the sake of entertainment - Suspension of disbelief, if I remember correctly.
Also, I believe a balance of good and bad helps create conflict in fiction, which definitely raises the plot's appeal to readers.
Elmax
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:32 pm
is there a place i can speak to someone 1 on 1 please..?
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:33 pm
yeah there is. you can speak with clinicians 1 on 1 by following the link: https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/connect-with-a-clinician/
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:32 pm
welcome to everyone just joining in :) let us know if you have a preferred nickname . We're just talking about being made fun of for liking things, characters or people that others feel we shouldnt
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:33 pm
like,,, i used to like the purple guy from fnaf
he's literally a serial killer and everyone was fine with me liking him
but nO if you like voldemort in his youth you are crOSSING A LINE
Elmax
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:33 pm
i tihnk so memelord
how do i change my name to something funny
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:35 pm
You can send an email to request a change otherwise you can sign in with another email. I think once you pick one you are stuck with it
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:33 pm
Hey Scorpius, I know it's hard to confront them sometimes, if you don't feel comfortable telling them how you feel in person would penning them down be easier? You could write down how you feel on a paper and just hand it to them?
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:34 pm
i could probably do that but they would most likely say that im using my anxiety as an excuse to write it down instead of talking to them
ashreya1813
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:34 pm
Scorpius Honestly i dont think it a big deal and should not be made fun of, everyone has their own opinions abt things
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:35 pm
Hi Elmax :)
Dru Dru
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:35 pm
I think that you should be you and feel comfortable with that rather than having to feel like you shouldn't like the things you like for other people
ashreya1813
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:35 pm
Anonymous 6140 yeah
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:36 pm
my only personality trait is needing validation from other people (:
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:36 pm
I agree as well, Anonymous 6140
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:36 pm
Where do you think this personality trait orginates from, Scorpius?
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:37 pm
my fear of people judging me
ashreya1813
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:37 pm
Scorpius you should enjoy being yourself and who you truly are :)
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:37 pm
Where did this fear arise?
Dru Dru
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:37 pm
Well I think that everyone has many personality traits and I also think that no matter who you are or how different you are to others, everyone should realise that we can't help what we like and who we are.
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:37 pm
i dunno, i guess its cuz i've been on the internet for so long and i've seen so much hate for whatever people like
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:38 pm
There are many experiences that compromise our self-confidence, but you definitely have the power to stand up for what you believe in, Scorpio
Dru Dru
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:39 pm
People only hate because their jealous, just be you and don't care what others have to say or think. I know it can be hard but it gets easier when you accept for your self who you are.
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:39 pm
Ah, my bad with the autocorrect, haha. Scorpius
=^)
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:39 pm
hey gang, how do you figure out who you are and what you like when you spent your entire adolescence depressed and messed up and now you've been thrown into life with no idea what kind of person you are?
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:40 pm
Great topic about our relationship with ourselves
Dru Dru
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:40 pm
I think you have to try a bit of everything, if it doesn't seem right or interest you than don't do that anymore and keep trialing until you find something that you enjoy and makes you happy.
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:40 pm
That's quite a predicament there, Anonymous 5281.
I'd think along the lines of working towards something you find interesting
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:41 pm
bro i have legit tried so much
Dru Dru
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:41 pm
'Just because your path is different, it doesn't mean your lost'
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:41 pm
i'm so tired
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:41 pm
Hi A5281! The number one rule for guidance is that the most important relationship you're ever going to have in your life is with yourself. Honestly!
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:43 pm
Such a great question A5281! I think this is something that lots of people struggle with to varying extents. I think we are constantly evolving and figuring out who we are just by trying new things all the time and figuring out what makes us content.
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:43 pm
how can i build a relationship with myself when i genuinely don't know what i enjoy or who i am apart from my diagnosis'
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:43 pm
haha same anon 5281
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:43 pm
What do you think has contributed to your depression? Honestky, ever teenager goes through this. Especially when we're feeling depressed or numb (based on my experience) my number one thing is to hang on. Breathe, hold on a little longer. Just hold on. Things always get better, always.
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:44 pm
Absolutely! This is awesome advice because things really do get better as we figure out how to navigate life.
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:43 pm
honestly*
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:44 pm
my depression is tricky cause it doesn't a cause or something to "blame" just came around when i was about 11
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:44 pm
What are your strengths 5281??
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:44 pm
bro, none
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:44 pm
Is it a type of depression? Just curious
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:44 pm
i got major depressive disorder, generalised anxiety and BPD
all properly diagnosed
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:45 pm
whole gang up in here
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:45 pm
Can easily tell from these chats that you are extemely kind, thoughtful and considerate of other people and their feelings.
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:45 pm
Hi anon5281, I struggle with alot of the feelings you're feeling but I've learnt to takes things day by day. :) A quote that got me through tough periods is that "everything will be okay in the end. if it's not ok, it's not the end :)"
Elmax
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:45 pm
roughly, how long does it take to reach someone 1 on 1? hours or ?
just i have to hide my screen when people come in im embaressed.
and confused. thanks
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:47 pm
hi Elmax, we can't give an exact time but it would be best to work around the assumption it might be over an hour. Right now is one of our busier times
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:45 pm
what if it is the end and i'm still not happy?
Dru Dru
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:47 pm
It can't be the end if your not happy
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:46 pm
Maddi, i love you but i'm only like this because i'm so scared of someone realising i'm so close to it
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:47 pm
bet anon5281
Anonymous 8990
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:47 pm
Hi
Dru Dru
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:48 pm
Hi 8990, how's thing's?
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:48 pm
Hi Elmax, I've been waiting for ages too. I chat frequently and it depends on the day and the hour of the day
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:48 pm
i said something during an argument relating to de ath via self but now my mum, dad, sister and brother know that i occasionally think of that so uh i think i should talk to my psychologist about it lol haha
Anonymous 8990
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:48 pm
Yeah I’m alright. Struggling abit
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:48 pm
it's a really good idea to talk to a psych about things 100%
NeedyBenson
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:49 pm
Hello. Just waiting for a one on one convo, but I don’t mind sharing it here too.
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:49 pm
ok so i need some help now,,, my bf just texted me saying how he feels upset cuz his mum and dad yelled at each other and his dad went somewhere and its his mums bday
how do i make him feel better :(
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:49 pm
Welcome NeedyBenson!
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:49 pm
Absolutely loving this chat tonight everyone!!!!! For those that are just logging on and still have anonymous ____ it would be awesome if you could click the little circle picture in the top corner and change you nickname. Do not have to be an actual name, can be what ever youre comfortable with. Just makes it a bit easier to figure out who everyone is!!!! <3 Keep up the support!!!
Anonymous 2221
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:49 pm
I’m too scared to talk to a counsellor. I feel like that’s admitting I’m not ok
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:52 pm
Hi Anon2221, I can definitely how speaking to a counselor can seem daunting but don't see it has admitting you're not okay, see it has taking a step to work on yourself! I like to spin everything in the positive light and repeat it to myself over and over again. :)
NeedyBenson
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:49 pm
Thanks Rosetaylor!
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:50 pm
gang, i can't wait heaps long, think imma bounce
good luck w everything dudes
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:50 pm
thanks for joining. Please know that we are here if you need it.
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:50 pm
Thats so sad Scorpius :( I think comfort him by telling him everything will be okay and this will be in the past soon
Dru Dru
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:50 pm
If your with him, maybe talk to him and distract him. Do something he enjoys
Anonymous 8990
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:50 pm
Hmmm well I moved schools recently to start year 10 in a different town, I’m undergoing seperate treatments for anorexia and depression. I just want to go back to my old school
Anonymous 8990
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:50 pm
:(
NeedyBenson
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:50 pm
Alright, I just wanna get what’s off my chest, if that’s alright with everybody.
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:51 pm
Wishing you the absolute best of luck A5281!
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:51 pm
one time someone asked if i had anorexia cuz i look skinny af
i just have a fast metabolism like,,, chill
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:51 pm
i mean, i appreciate the offer but i really need one on one for my sorta thing
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:51 pm
Go for it NeedyBenson, no judgment!!
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:51 pm
i have a few phone numbers i can give to u 5281
Anonymous 8990
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:51 pm
Geez that’s really rude. It should never be a joke kids die everyday from it
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:55 pm
definitely 8990, sometimes people don't understand that what they say can be hurtful
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:52 pm
You are being so helpful Scorpius, its beautiful to witness :')
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:52 pm
i'n not looking to call someone, thank you though
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:52 pm
no they where genuinely concerned
NeedyBenson
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:52 pm
So recently my ex boyfriend who I am friends with told me he’s dating someone new, a trans boy and he’s never said he was bi to me, he never told me he had feelings for him. And when we dated he said he was straight, I’m just angry at him.
Anonymous 8990
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:53 pm
Oh well I hope it’s going okay I wish I had a fast metabolism
Dru Dru
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:53 pm
Wait sorry 8990 , I think I missed the convo. What do kids die of everyday?
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:53 pm
he doesn't have to tell you his sexuality if he doesn't want to, it can be really scary sometimes
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:53 pm
Hey Anon2221:
Just reposting my reply to you here in case you missed it!
Hi Anon2221, I can definitely how speaking to a counselor can seem daunting but don't see it has admitting you're not okay, see it has taking a step to work on yourself! I like to spin everything in the positive light and repeat it to myself over and over again. :)
Anonymous 8990
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:54 pm
Anorexia, it has the highest mental disorder mortality rate
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:54 pm
all eating disorders have the highest death rate
Scorpius
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:54 pm
and sometimes ppl change cuz sometimes they're questioning and "try out" (??) a same sex relationship just to see if it feels right
its what i did with my bf before we knew we were both trans guys and gay
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:54 pm
Speaking to a counselor was the best thing I ever did. They are so helpful and really change your perspective on things
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:54 pm
they all mess you up
Dru Dru
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:55 pm
Does anyone know why my message before was flagged?
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:56 pm
sent you a pm :)
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:55 pm
What a tricky situation NeedyBenson, Did your ex tell you they recently discovered they were bi or they discovered that during your relationship with them?
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:57 pm
Talking about content that might be uncomfortable for others can be flagged
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:57 pm
Have a look to the info underneath "Call 000" to see why you may have been flagged Dru Dru
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 7:59 pm
all good Rose, thanks for referring people to the community guidelines :)
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:59 pm
is there anyway to talk to someone about a different topic, you can't have trouble with relationships if you don't let people in and clinicians are taking really long
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:00 pm
Hey Hutch, thats completely understandable. A recommendation I can make is to write down your thoughts and try accessing eheadspace in the morning when its less busy otherwise is there a friend you can talk to?
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 7:59 pm
just don't think i can wait around an hour like last time
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:00 pm
What would like to discuss gghutch?
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:00 pm
how to deal with borderline better
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:00 pm
Feel free to chat about whatever comes to your mind! We are not professionals, but can be a listening ear and share our own experiences!
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:00 pm
how to just feel like you're not the absolute worst person
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:01 pm
If you would like to talk to someone else in a different way right now there are also the various hotlines you can chat to/call.
Lifeline (for any age):
Phone - 13 11 14 – available 24 hours a day
Webchat - https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/online-services/crisis-chat - available 7pm to Midnight (NSW time)
Kids Help Line (ages 5 -25 yo):
Phone - 1800 55 1800 – available 24 hours day
Webchat - https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling - available 24 hours a day
Suicide Call Back Service:
Phone - 1300 659 467 – available 24 hours a day
May also be helpful to know that Suicide Call Back Service is for anyone that is “Considering suicide or self-harm, bereaved by suicide, or concerned about someone who may be at risk”
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:01 pm
i don't really like talking on the phone
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:02 pm
Ah gghutch. So common. If YOU are comfortable sharing, what is contributing to your negative self esteem?
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:03 pm
Hey Anon592, would texting be better for you?
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:03 pm
a lot of people don't feel comfortable talking on the phone, thats why a lot of places now have webchat options too :)
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:03 pm
eating disorder shit
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:03 pm
it's not even self esteem thats the issue, it's just that i feel like a burden
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:03 pm
yeah texting would be okay
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:04 pm
Hi anon592 perhaps this could work for you then! https://www.lifeline.org.au/projects/lifeline-text
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:05 pm
i just can't keep doing these tapping exercises because i feel like i'm going fucking insane
Anonymous 4932
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:05 pm
Is their any hotlines for closeted nonbinary teens with transphobic parents?
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:07 pm
Hi 4932 not that I am aware of however, we have a LGBTQIA+ chat tomorrow night and I am sure there will be people there to assist with these kinds of queries
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:05 pm
I felt the same way fo a long time. Making confessions to my counselor and my mother is what got me out of that hole. As well as self forgiveness, acceptance and cutting yourself some slack, which is much easier said than done. My biggest advice is to hang in there. Hold on for as long as possible and even further, life always works itself out.
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:06 pm
Negative self-talk is something I struggle with a lot too, something I like to do is to surround my room with positive messages to remind myself to be a little kinder to myself. Reading those when I am feeling bad helps me cut off those thoughts. :)
Alternatively, here are some helpful resources I found:
rosetaylor
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:08 pm
Writing out how I feel has been very helpful for me, as well as writing out the "burden" you're focused on so you can reassess the situation.
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:09 pm
Have you tried to explore other excerise apart from "tapping"? Maybe you just have to play with some alternative techniques to find something that doesnt drive you crazy?
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:09 pm
@4932 I found this one https://qlife.org.au/ or there are some more specific options here https://au.reachout.com/articles/lgbtqi-support-services
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:09 pm
how do i stop feeling worthless after getting fired, my gf of 3 years breaking up with me, not being able to afford to see a psychologist, feeling suicidal constantly, sleeping all day etc.
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:10 pm
hi 1469, maybe we can help you access some free services. Sounds like a tough time but you are not alone. Thanks for coming along tonight
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:10 pm
thank you mate
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:14 pm
Have you tried accessing a mental health care plan from your gp or reaching out to your local headspace centre?
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:11 pm
feel really alone haha
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:11 pm
Hi anon4932, I think I found a hotline that might be suitable for you!
QLife
Phone: 1800 184 527 (3pm–midnight AEST)
Online chat (3pm–midnight AEST)
Read here for more LGBTQIA+ Support Services: https://au.reachout.com/articles/lgbtqi-support-services :)
Anonymous 4932
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:12 pm
Thankyou
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:13 pm
Thinking about everything that is going on for you at one time is overwhelming and can make us feel powerless. Taking things one day at a time is the biggest thing. starting small with goals, gratitude or strengths. I was talking with my counsellor about this sort of stuff a while ago. She set me a task of writing down one thing I did well each day. even if it was 'i said hello to someone new today' slowly it built me back up
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:15 pm
Sorry that youre going through all of that A1469. I had a similar experience last year where I felt like I was lifes punching bag, but I assure you it will get better, even if it takes a bit of time. Have you thought about trying to access a mental healthcare plan from you GP? This could assist with the psychologist cost issues.
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:15 pm
i saw a gp on a mental health care plan and had to tell him serotonin was a neurotransmitter
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:16 pm
i saw a psychologist**
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:16 pm
jeez maybe its worth finding a new gp
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:16 pm
i dont think ive ever seen a psychologist that has been useful that i havent paid for
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:16 pm
i cant access my uni's health service because i missed an appointment so thats the only gp i can access i think
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:17 pm
Most states will have bulk billing Gps scattered around. what state do you live in?
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:18 pm
Hey anon1469, have you tried accessing a mental health plan. I had one last year and I was able to subsidize the cost of my private psychologist!
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:18 pm
I think its important to remember that not every psychologist will be what we need at that moment. It's perfectly fine to say that you didn't find any of them useful so far but dont give up. I met my psychologist after I thought it would be a waste of time and it made a big difference
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:23 pm
Definitely. I think sometimes you have to shop around for a psychologist that suits you. They all have differing strengths.
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:18 pm
Why can't you go back to your uni's health service?
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:25 pm
i have to pay $60 before i can go back and i cant afford it
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:26 pm
gotchya
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:28 pm
tbh i could probably find a psychologist but i cant sleep until 5-6am and i wake up at 4-5pm usually so it's too late to call or anything
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:28 pm
Have you tried searching up financial aid available at your uni? Most universities/student associations offers some :) at my uni, there is an emergency grant I was able to apply for to foot the cost of my medical bill once!
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:28 pm
i owe the uni like 500 aud from a 1k loan i took from them 3 years ago when i was homeless
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:28 pm
i cant afford to make any repayments so they definitely wont offer me any money haha
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:29 pm
theres also this search engine- maybe you could find a new GP that doesn't charge/ does bulk bill https://healthengine.com.au/appointments/bulk-billing-gp/
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:30 pm
What are the barriers to your sleep routine. Maybe we can talk about some sleep hygiene tips and tricks
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:30 pm
good idea!
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:31 pm
anxiety mainly
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:31 pm
thinking about things ive messed up in the past, how hopeless my life is etc
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:32 pm
What have you tried so far to manage your anxiety?
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:32 pm
idk drugs
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:32 pm
psychotherapy never helped and my antidepressant doesnt do anything for anxiety
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:33 pm
what kind of psychotherapy? I am a big believer in contemporary mindfulness lol thats what I call it
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:33 pm
I struggle with insomnia and anxiety myself, have you tried penning down your thoughts? I overthink and get anxious alot, but i've found keeping a journal really helpful!
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:35 pm
Journalling is great! Ive had good success with it to tackle anxiety as well.
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:33 pm
i usually just watch youtube to take my mind off it
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:33 pm
ye meditation and stuff works when im feeling stable but when im not, nothing works
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:33 pm
thats a good idea sloth ill see if it helps
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:34 pm
100% I know that feeling. the only thing that works for me when that happens is some sort of physical activity paired with music...really loud music
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:35 pm
yea i felt super super anxious when i woke up today but wasnt motivated enough to get past my parents to go gym so i just stayed in my room haha
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:35 pm
also sometimes switching off screen time 30min before bed helps me too - maybe try tying this into penning thoughts time?
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:36 pm
yea but i feel even more alone and anxious then, hard to explain
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:37 pm
one thing at a time then :)
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:36 pm
like my phone is a surrogate person that cares about me :))
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:37 pm
Completely valid, sometimes I get anxious when I've been away from my phone for too long. Another thing that helped me with sleep was exercising at night!
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:38 pm
What if you substitute phone before bed for reading, or journalling? You know the whole blue light is not good for you before bed things, this could be contributing to your sleeping issues.
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:38 pm
If you spend heaps of time in your room then you might start associating stressful thoughts in a space where you should be relaxing. Just some food for thought
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:39 pm
The other thing is trying some chronotherapy or bright light therapy
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:40 pm
i dont think i can afford that
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:41 pm
They are both things that you can do yourself free
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:41 pm
i havent heard of those memelord, what do they entail?
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:41 pm
chronotherapy is advancing your natural sleep-wake cycle by 30 minutes each day until you are waking up at a time that suits your lifestyle
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:41 pm
oh true chronotherapy is interesting
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:41 pm
basically something i've tried before
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:42 pm
i wish i could do that but my parents come and scream at me to wake up if theyve had a bad day or whatever
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:42 pm
Bright light therapy is exposure to natural light in the morning so your brain starts releasing your wake up hormone
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:42 pm
For any new people who might have just joined us, feel free to jump in whenever you feel comfortable! We're currently chatting about how to manage sleep patterns :)
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:42 pm
i could do bright light therapy in combo with melatonin possibly
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:43 pm
Wow! Chronotherapy and bright light therapy seemed like such fancy things but they are actually really awesome concepts.
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:43 pm
1469, do you want to talk a little more about your relationship with your parents
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:43 pm
ok i guess they're really disappointed that they raised me tbh
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:44 pm
not much else to say, my brother is going to law school and working as a lawyer and i cant wake up before 4pm
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:44 pm
they dont really understand mental illness even when i've been sectioned for suicidality
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:44 pm
Ive got a really good quote I want to share
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:44 pm
so they take their anger out on me and i try and avoid them
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:47 pm
I have similar family dynamics. Over the years, I've learnt that the family can be the ones I choose to let in. My family we're able to under mental health, so I turned to my friends for support. Do you currently live with them?
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:47 pm
weren't**
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:47 pm
Message attachment
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:47 pm
if i could actually do uni without failing i would totqlly identify with that quote but i cant even do a BA lol
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:48 pm
yes i live with my parents
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:48 pm
i dont really have any other friends that arent online and the online ones i have are gronks
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:48 pm
Failing is not uncommon. Do you enjoy what you are studying?
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:48 pm
not really
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:49 pm
I hated my first degree but that allowed me to transfer to something I enjoy more.
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:49 pm
i study philosophy, i enjoy writing/reading philosophy
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:49 pm
i don't enjoy studying though and attending academic skills classes to teach me how to not plagiarise for the 100th time
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:49 pm
and if you miss one, you fail the subject
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:50 pm
Back when I used to live with my family, I used to find excuses to take at least one break away from them everyday. It could be just even going for a walk by myself but it helped me give myself some space because they tend to say rly harsh things to me.
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:50 pm
I think sometimes uni bachelors can feel like a bit of a slog but its a great way to get you somewhere youre more interested in. Thats my experience with it.
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:50 pm
even if i take a break i still am super super anxious whenever theyre in the house or theyre about to get home or whatever cos i know i can't avoid them
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:51 pm
i would happily drop out of this course if i could get a job but i've applied for 193 and not gotten an interview, im stuck doing it
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:51 pm
even tho it won't get me anywhere
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:51 pm
Uni is also not the be all and end all as well though.
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:52 pm
i would rather be happy than in uni 1000000x over
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:52 pm
but i cant make that choice
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:52 pm
oop just saw your recent message, mine isnt very helpful then :|
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:52 pm
haha all good mate thanks
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:53 pm
have you spoken to anyone about the job stuff?
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:53 pm
what do you mean
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:54 pm
if you've just joined us as well please feel free to join in, we're just talking about Uni and family relationships at the moment
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:55 pm
theres some places to get help finding a job. They can help with resume writing, interview skills etc some agencies will even job hunt for you. Not sure if there is a cost attached to the last option but you can defs access the first 2 for free
Anonymous 1766
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:55 pm
hey guys! i use she/her pronouns but dont really care if you get it wrong
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:56 pm
welcome! is there a nickname you would prefer us to use as well?
Anonymous 1766
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:56 pm
you can call me skye btw
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:56 pm
one step ahead of me haha
Anonymous 1766
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:56 pm
haha yep
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:57 pm
i don't think there's any issues with my resume, maybe there are idk. thanks
Anonymous 1469
Participant
2nd Mar, 8:57 pm
ive talked to a couple of recruitment agencies and they dont want anything to do with me haha. tbh theres some pretty bad stuff when you google my name so idk if that helps it.
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 8:58 pm
might be worth a chat with someone though just in case - I'm rubbish at resume writing so i tend to take all the help i can get https://headspace.org.au/young-people/digital-work-and-study-program/
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:00 pm
If you're at uni, there might also be a careers division that could look at your resume and give feedback!
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:02 pm
For those that are just logging on and still have anonymous ____ it would be awesome if you could click the little circle picture in the top corner and change you nickname. Do not have to be an actual name, can be what ever youre comfortable with. Just makes it a bit easier to figure out who everyone is!!!! <3
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:06 pm
guess who's back gang, texting doesn't work
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:06 pm
Heyy so my thing is still anonymous at this point, but hey 7954 almost looks like Tesa, so that can be me for now. I have part of my HSC exams coming up soon and I'm struggling to study and get work done. I keep trying to help other people and do things for them rather than do what I'm supposed to be doing but that's just making me more and more stressed. The other day my parents were arguing about cleaning the house and I had to go sit outside to try and do work. So... fun times :/
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:07 pm
HSC so was so hard for me, I got through all my trials and then burnt out before the actual exams
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:08 pm
I think I did worse, I peaked in year 11 and now I'm pretty burned out
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:09 pm
just remember it isn't forever, it can feel really difficult and like everyone has it together, but trust me, it's really hard for everyone
maybe get a study group together with some friends so you can help each other out with classes you're better at
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:09 pm
Can be super nerve racking but its important to do what is best for you. It is awesome that youre so helpful to everyone else though. Do you think this might be procrastination of a kind?
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:09 pm
it can be easier to get through shitty things if you have other people with you
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:10 pm
I thankfully didn't have to do HSC but know all too well how stressful exams can be. While studying in groups can be really helpful it sort of has to be a team rather than one person (you) helping everyone else. You have to look after you too :)
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:10 pm
I feel like when I get into study groups, people always think I'm smarter than I am, so they spend most of the time asking me for help. THat means that when i can help, i end up wasting my own time explaining things i understand (which i dont really mind doing if it helps them) or else i just dont get it either and that makes me stress more because i realise how much i still dont know
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:10 pm
oh for sure, it can just be easier to motivate yourself if you have other people there too
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:11 pm
and yeah totally, i always procrastinate by helping people
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:11 pm
idk man, no ones ever had high expectations for me
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:12 pm
trust me, thats a good thing though. I always have people expecting me to do well, sometimes it can be really nice to see they have confidence in me or whatever but it means that when I dont live up to it, it gets really hard
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:12 pm
Oh man. I feel this on another level. <3
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:12 pm
nah man, people expecting you to fail kinda depletes the drive to actually do well
Anonymous 852
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:13 pm
help
Anonymous 852
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:13 pm
hello
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:13 pm
got stuck in doing what people expected and it messed me up
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:13 pm
Hmm I guess I never really thought about it that way. I guess people just placing any sort of expectation can have massive impacts
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:13 pm
usually negative
Anonymous 852
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:13 pm
my family is so bad
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:13 pm
Hey 852, whats up?
Anonymous 852
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:14 pm
my parents are horrible , my brother hurts me and treats me like dirt
Anonymous 852
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:14 pm
i just cry in my room every night
Anonymous 852
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:14 pm
i’m sick of it
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:14 pm
have you contacted someone who can help with things like that? Abuse and stuff is illegal right?
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:15 pm
thats horrible, I'm so sorry 852. No one deserves to be treated like dirt
Anonymous 852
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:15 pm
my parents don’t realise how bad he treats me
Anonymous 592
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:16 pm
that's the exact situation my brother was in, holy damn
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:16 pm
How long has this been going on for?
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:21 pm
For anyone who may be struggling with ill-treatment within your family, you may find some of these resources helpful:
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:21 pm
852 keeps darting in and out so i'll just leave some links here in case anyone wants to find some support/info after the chat
Anonymous 852
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:22 pm
thank you
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:23 pm
Hey so I wanna have a romantic relationship but no one likes me. I keep being like nahh it doesn't matter but then my brother constantly teases me and all, it's getting frustrating
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:24 pm
A couple of times the person I liked liked me as well and we were kinda chatting but they just didn't think their scene was my scene and so nothing ever happened
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:24 pm
since then we just drifted
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:25 pm
Im sorry that your brother isnt treating you respectfully. It can be frustating wanting relationship but it not happening but I also reckon it is important no to push something with the wrong person.
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:26 pm
what you have described (aside from your brother) is just what dating is like unfortunately. a whole lot of trial and error until something works
Anonymous 7954
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:26 pm
yeah totally, I just always find myself trying to impress people that ive hardly even met and that annoys me as well. (not that they notice for all the attractive and fun ppl i have surrounding me)
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:28 pm
it is hard putting that pressure on yourself (and i know its hard to stop doing it too). You have already talked tonight about some of your strengths and its worth keeping those in the front of your mind if you ever feel disheartened. Your kindness, intelligence and generosity will mean the world to someone one day.
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:32 pm
Hi everyone, tonight amongst other things we have talked about our relationship with characters from shows and movies and our relationship with family and friends. There have been some very valuable insights around the importance of our relationship with ourselves aswell.
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:33 pm
The importance of the connection we have with everyone around us will always have a role to play in our mood and functioning. Some tips have been to operate in your comfort zone as a priority and access supports when you need it. Be honest with yourself and others and communicate your needs
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:35 pm
Hey, just a quick reminder that our chat will be ending in about 20 mins! If you have anything else you wish to bring up, feel free to chime in now! :)
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:35 pm
Hi, I'm back from a 1-on-1 conversation.
Today was my first experience viewing and contributing to this group chat. It's nice seeing the shared experiences/advice here. I'll definitely make sure to attend the next session :)
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:36 pm
Yay! That makes our day when we hear positive feedback. Thanks for your contribution today! We had such a supportive environment from everyone <3
MemeLord
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:35 pm
Thanks XCLslus, great to hear. Hope your chat went well
XClsiuS
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:36 pm
Yeah, it went quite well. It helped me understand why I've been feeling more stressed recently
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:41 pm
I'm really glad :)
Anonymous 881
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:44 pm
Hey everyone I recently gave a friend small chips at work (worth $2) and paid after my shift. My manger told me it was stealing and I haven’t been rostered any shifts she said I am suspended from work. I’m scared I’m going to be in trouble by police or lose my job do you think I will be in trouble by police or lose my job
Anonymous 881
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:44 pm
I really need help here
Anonymous 881
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:45 pm
Okay
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:45 pm
You paid for the chips after your shift?
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:45 pm
i highly highly doubt you will get in trouble with the police.
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:46 pm
Yup I agree!
Anonymous 881
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:46 pm
When I go for my interview should I mention that the manager that suspended me had made me mop the floors 4 times and threw food at me and told me to take it out and this made me feel like she was bullying me as it hasn’t happened only once.
Anonymous 881
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:46 pm
It’s hard because I am not the only one that did it. And I paid for the food after my shift had ended
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:47 pm
It sounds like your employer isn't treating you right. Do they treat everyone like this, or it is just you?
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:47 pm
If you're worried about your job it might be worth sitting down with your boss to iron out the situation. You could invite someone from HR to come if you want a neutral person there too :) I think it is worth letting your workplace know that that is happening as it would count as bullying- but maybe have an initial conversation without the perpetrator there
Anonymous 881
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:49 pm
It is just me as I’ve noticed but I emailed the store and havent heard anything yet it’s been a week
Slothching
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:49 pm
Anonymous 881
Participant
2nd Mar, 9:50 pm
Thankyou so much
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:52 pm
On that note we might wrap up the chat for tonight :)
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:52 pm
Thank you all for your courage and generosity tonight in opening up to speak with us and to help out other people :)
Maddi
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:55 pm
Thank you everyone for the chat tonight! I loved seeing everyone supporting each on such important topics and sharing your experiences so openly. Looking forward to seeing all you amazing people in future chats! Stay beautiful <3
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:55 pm
If you have concerns about mental health of safety, it’s a really good idea to seek some further support.
You could talk to a trusted adult or think about visiting a counsellor through your school/uni counsellor, your GP or headspace. For more information about accessing private psychologists you can contact your local headspace. To find your closest headspace centre you can use this link – https://headspace.org.au/headspace-centres/
If you have any concerns about your immediate safety, please contact 000.
Here are some other resources that you might like to take a look at:
As a reminder:
This is not an emergency service - if you are in need of immediate help, please call 000
Other helpful places:
Lifeline (for any age):
Phone - 13 11 14 – available 24 hours a day Webchat - https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/online-services/crisis-chat - available 7pm to Midnight (NSW time)
Kids Help Line (ages 5 -25 yo):
Phone - 1800 55 1800 – available 24 hours day Webchat - https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling - available 24 hours a day
Suicide Call Back Service:
Phone - 1300 659 467 – available 24 hours a day Webchat (for 15 yo +) - https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/phone-and-online-counselling/suicide-call-back-service-online-counselling/ - available 24 hours a day
Happy_Fox
Moderator
2nd Mar, 9:55 pm
Join us for our next relationships chat on Monday 9 March at 6pm :) have a good night everyone and take care of yourselves