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Safer sexting

16 Oct 2018
A lot of people like sending intimate messages. Here's some useful stuff to keep in mind

Sending and getting sexy messages can be fun. It can be a way of exploring your sexuality and be intimate with someone you care about. But if it’s something you’re thinking about doing, it’s important to ask yourself some whether you’re 100% comfortable. Here are some important things to keep in mind when thinking about sexting.

 

Remember that consent is sexy

Feeling under the pump to show more than you feel comfortable with? It’s fine to say no. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship with the other person, you’ve had sex together, or even if you’ve shared images before: if you don’t want to send something, you don’t have to.

Saying no isn't always easy. If you're wanting to say no and you're struggling to say it, try sending one of these callout cards instead.

It’s never OK to pressure someone into sending nudes. Don’t do it!

It’s also super important not to send people intimate pictures without their consent. Sending an unsolicited dick pic is basically the same thing as flashing someone in public. It can be really upsetting or violating for the person at the other end – and it’s also against the law.

Never share someone’s sexts

If you’ve been sent someone’s nudes, keep them safe. Don’t ever forward or show someone’s private images to other people. Not even your best mate. It doesn’t make a difference if the image was from years ago, or you if you’ve broken up with the person, or even if they were passed on to you from someone else.

Sharing nudes is a really shitty thing to do. Not only will it destroy any relationship you have with that person, it can have a really bad effect on their life. These things can quickly get out of hand in ways you might not expect at the time. It’s also illegal, and you could get in a lot of trouble with the law.

If a friend shares a picture with you and you don’t think they should have, delete it and tell them you thought it wasn’t cool to send. It might take a bit of courage, but you could be saving person in the image and your friend from a really bad situation.

Take precautions

Most sexting is done on purpose, but sometimes intimate messages can get passed on accidentally. It’s a good idea to be aware of the ways that things can go wrong:

  • We’ve all sent messages to the wrong person by accident ­– make sure not to send a topless pic to Grandma!

  • Be careful that syncing, Bluetooth and email don’t accidentally pass on personal pics from your phone.

  • Remember to keep your phone locked and safe. If it gets stolen, the thief will have access to everything on there.

If you do decide to send a sexy picture, it’s a really good idea to make it so that the image can’t be identified. Crop out your face/head and any identifying tattoos.

If something hasn’t gone to plan, it’s important to remember that even if it feels scary or embarrassing at the time, you’ll get through it. A lot of people have gone through these situations before and come out the end. If someone you trusted has betrayed that trust, that’s on them, not you.

 

Looking for some support, or have any questions about sexting or relationships? Visit your local headspace centre today.

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What Is Sexting?
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What Is Sex: Risks, Health & Contraception
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5 Ways To Effectively Communicate Your Feelings
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