Jason's Story, 24 QLD
I dont know how to put in to words the emotional and physical pain I went threw in my childhood for you to understand, but this is where it took me.
i was first placed in a mental health facility when i was 18. i was lost, i was alone in my dark world with a head that constantly reminded me that i was worthless, that i was nothing. i was dead inside. i cut and burnt myself everyday trying to escape trying to find control of the pain that i felt so much. i remember the labels; chronic depression, acute anxiety, i couldn't sit still, i couldn't stop cutting, i could not be in my own skin. i was bulimic, i was an addict. Self harm for me gave me that little bit of control from the abuse and pain i suffered as a child, i controlled the pain now..
i bounced around detoxes and mental health wards until they all gave up. i scream out but no one cares, someone cares, someone listened i found support, i found a place that didn't give in. They offered me a chance at life.
i was so sick and scared and full of self hate but they were the first place that ever listened ever took the time. They helped me face my abuse, look at why i use, why i hate myself.
There was so much compassion, it was like being in a loving home for the first time. People cared... that is what made the difference.
I worked hard to deal with my mental health find the right medication for me, to find ways to identify my feelings and cope with them, how to manage my time my money and my life. i had counselling fortnightly and was shown ways to express myself through art in therapy, and through peer support from others who suffered in silence like me. We were a voice for each other and my peers helped me create my life.
i still self harmed though it became less and less frequent until one day it just stopped. i now have people in my life that i can talk to about self harm so i dont have to act. I can let out my pain in healthy ways that work. . i self harmed for 9 years and am now 14months free of this overwhelming addiction and torment to my body..